


Descent

by angrytitanboy



Series: Corpse and Vengeful [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ereri b in dis bish, F/M, LEAVE NOW IF DONT WANT TEARS, M/M, Peeps b dyin, Walking Dead Zombie Rules, Zombie AU, aight I warned u, apocalypse au, guns n shit, like srsly, u askin for it nao, u gonna cri errytime, wooooo otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrytitanboy/pseuds/angrytitanboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shooting you wasn't easy. That much I fucking know. But it was harder to look at your corpse form that it was to pull the trigger.</p><p>I'm going north like we planned. I'm going to find them. No matter what.</p><p>I'll kill them.</p><p>-------------------------------------------</p><p>Where are you. Where are you. Where are you. Who took you. Who took you. Who took you.</p><p>Why am I like this? I don't know. Do I care? Fuck no. All I care about is finding you two. And once I find who kidnapped you?</p><p>I'll kill them.</p><p>-------------------------------------------</p><p>(Unless, of course, someone gets in the way.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Boy With A Gun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brainstormqq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brainstormqq/gifts).



> Yay, Ereri time!
> 
> Ehh it happens later...
> 
> If any of you remember Row (LanceCorpCleanFreak) it's me! I'm back! New account time! 
> 
> I'll post my old stories later I think...
> 
> K thnx bai

I shot you square between the eyes and left you slumped on the tree. Couldn't be helped. Your blood was a shade darker than your lipstick as it trickled down your nose and down the bark of the willow tree, carrying pieces of your contaminated brain down with it. You, overcome with fever and panic, looked to have tears in your eyes. You looked so, so scared. Not at all peaceful.

I knew you loved me. It was in the way you smiled at me and stuck near me and panicked whenever I got the slightest mark. I didn't have the heart to tell you that I wasn't the type of guy who was interested in women. I know I didn't look it. You couldn't have known.

You were a good teammate. A hard worker. A good friend. I can't find a since negative memory of you. You acted like my assistant, bringing me coffee in the mornings and offering to run my errands. I even remember when I was sick you came to my apartment with a bowl of soup. You were always the sweetest girl to everyone around you. You were everyone's kid sister.

"Sorry it had to happen to you, Petra." I said, gently brushing your orange hair out of your face. "I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough to kill. I mean, even after the others all turned at once, you were still strong." 

I remembered you standing in your jeans, blood all over your face, shivering in fear. You covered your cold arms with your hands and bit your bottom lip until you drew blood. The way the moonlight hit your face reminded me of my mother. I kept my blades drawn, blood all over my shirt, three dead bodies at my feet.

"What...what happened?" You asked in a quiet voice.

"They were all bit. They kept it hidden well." I muttered, spitting a bit of blood from my mouth.

"You're..." You paused. I looked at you. You were staring at your bare feet in attempt to hide yourself. "You're not bit...right?"

"No." I answered you. "You?"

"No." There was a long, long pause. We stood in complete silence in the middle of the night. Blood running down your face. Finally, you broke down crying. 

"They're dead." You said between sobs as you crumbled to the ground. I knelt down and put a hand on your shoulder firmly.

"You're going to be okay." I told you. Suddenly you grabbed me and hugged me and refused to let go. I hadn't felt the need to hug you before in the time that I knew you, but it only seemed right. We made a promise, our pinkie fingers tightly holding, to stick together and find our two lost teammates.

And now you were dead. I knelt in the morning dew, holding your hand, until I felt your skin go cold and stiff. "I'll miss you, Petra." I said, tucking your hair behind your ear and beginning on our path north. 

The dew was wetting down my worn combat boots. The cold lingered on my neck. And before I knew it, my eyes were wet with silent tears. It just had to be you. You of all people. You, cute little Petra. Cute little Petra who stayed by my side for years. The least I could have done was protect you in the apocalypse. That was all I had to do. But no, it was cute little Petra to protect me. Cute little Petra who shoved me back to take the bite from a corpse. Cute little Petra to die in my place. Normally I would have called someone like you stupid. Like if I was watching a movie. In my eyes you were stupid and died to gloss your bloated ego of how brave you were. Normally, in my eyes, you would be stupid to die for someone clearly trying to protect you. But this wasn't a movie. This was real life. In my eyes you were brave. You were brave to keep going north with me. You were brave to fight as hard as you did. You were brave to save me before yourself. In my book, you were as strong as you were cute. But my book doesn't matter anymore, and the pages dedicated to you don't matter anymore. You're dead. And it's undeniably my fault.

Twenty minutes of walking farther north into the forest and I was still crying when no one could see me. When I just didn't want to walk anymore I planted myself by with my back on a tree, tears rolling down my face. I gripped the handle of my ace tightly as I found it increasingly hard to lift. I was about to give up. I don't know where those two assholes are. I don't even know if they're still alive. Know what? Fuck Erwin and Hanji. They can get fucked. I'm done. I'm done getting people killed. 

"Hands up." A voice. A click. I lifted my head to glare at the direction of the sudden sound only to look down the barrel of a gun. Holding the gun with two shaking hands was a very, very scared teenager. 

"Shoot." I told him straight to his face. "Go ahead."

"Are- are you bit?" His voice quivered.

"No, I'm not bit. Now shoot me." I ordered him.

"I...um..." The kid's face flushed red as he slowly lowered the gun. "I don't actually have any bullets. Look, man, I need your help."

"Get the fuck out of my sight before I hack your arm off." I threatened, picking up my axe. Surprisingly, the frightened teen stood right where he was. He said nothing as he dropped into the criss-cross applesauce position and bowed his head.

"The fuck are you doing? Go!" I yelled at him. He slipped the side of his thumb into his mouth and raised his head. What I saw nearly made me scream. His jaw was pressing down, pressing on a wound that had been there before, but not drawing blood. His skin was rapidly thinning and graying like that of a corpse. His eyes were rolled back into his head, the whites dyed a light gray shade. His temples and veins pulsated visibly in a way that an old woman's do. The corpse-side of him was rapidly spreading down his face.

"Stop! Stop!" I shouted, scrambling back against the tree. He opened his mouth and the dead look flushed away completely. He closed his blue green eyes.

"What are you." My tone was short and cold as I carefully drew a knife.

"Immune." The kid answered. "Well, not exactly. About a month ago I was bitten. My bite healed, but I can turn on and off."

"You should really run before I put a bullet in your head." I told him, cocking my gun.

"I need help." The kid said.

"Liar." I told him.

"I do!" The kid shouted in immediate fury, obviously enraged. He really DID need help. Mental Help.

"So you come out here, put a gun in my face, turn into some sort of freak, and now you want my help." I folded my arms. "Well, kid, I've got enough on my hands. I don't need some brat looking to take my resources."

"I don't want anything you have!" The kid cried. "You can take my resources! I really need your help!"

"What do you want? Leave me alone." I rolled my eyes.

"My friends have been abducted. They were taken north. Please, for the love of god, help me find them." The kid begged. "Mikasa and Armin. My sister and my best friend. They-"

"Cut it." I snapped. "Quit begging at me. What's in it for me?"

"You kidding me? I'm a corpse." For the first time since I met this kid, I saw him grin. And it was beautiful. "If I make it clear to other corpses that you're my prey, they'll leave you alone. You can survive."

"I don't care about survival. I'm headed north myself to find two people. Couple of assholes. I'm after their heads." I spit in the grass. 

"So you're going north anyway? Why not just go with me?" The kid continued to insist.

"Why do you want me, kid?" I glared fiercely at him, just wanting him to shut up for five seconds so that I could get some quiet for a half a second.

"Because there's no one else." He answered. I looked at him. He closed his eyes. "You in or out."

"Fuck it." I rolled my eyes. "But once I kill those two in after, I'm leaving you."

"I'm Eren." The kid said. "Eren Jaeger."

"Levi." I said. "Just Levi. Now lead the way and don't fucking say anything."


	2. Saga of the Sweetest Girl

"Need anything?" You asked sweetly, popping in my doorway.

"Nope. Thanks, Petra." I answered, not looking up from my computer screen as my fingers rapidly skittered across my keyboard.

"Um, could I ask you something?" You said shyly, your tone rapidly quieting. "I-It's not important or anything like that..."

"What is it, Petra?" I glanced over. Your face was unabashedly red and you looked at your feet like a kindergartener who hasn't done his homework. 

"I...I, um...I have a reservation for two at that new French restaurant...tonight...do you...um..." You were visibly starting to shake and I could almost hear the tears of sheer terror in your voice. 

"Sorry, Petra." I sighed, the slightest bit guilty. "I'm busy tonight. Erwin's parents are in town."

"That's...that's okay." You looked up and forced a smile, red as ever, blinking back uncontainable tears. "It's-It's really f-fine."

"I'm sure Oulo could go with you." I tried to smile but couldn't. You kept yours and nodded as little solemnly. You shivered and spat out a breath.

"Hey." I said as you were about to leave. You looked at me, eyes full of hope and tears. "I really am sorry. I'll get you next time. Promise." You smiled again before walking off rather quickly. I could hear you cry as you made your way back down the hall. The next time never came. I think you knew why. You pretended that nothing was wrong. You were mad at me. Righteously so, I mean.

"Excuse me, Levi." Erwin knocked on my open door. I looked up at him. He smiled. "Would you run some papers for me?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"One more thing?"

"Yes?"

"Wake up!"

 

"Wake up!" Ugh, it's that brat again. What could he possibly want this early in the morning? Why am all wet? And what was my dream about?

"Can you hear me?" The kid shouted.

"Yes." I groaned. "The fuck do you want?"

"Levi, you blacked out." The kid panted. "You stopped and said you had a horrible headache, then fell flat on your face."

"When did that happen?" I asked, believing him but not knowing how.

"About ten minutes ago. I dumped some water on you." Eren explained. 

"You what?" I turned to anger quickly as I realized what he had done. "You fucker! We're in the middle of the apocalypse! You can't just waste water on stupid shit like that!"

"You were crying!" Eren cried. "It was necessary!"

"Crying?" I blinked in realization. The dream. I covered my eyes with my hand. "God, Petra...Christ..."

"Petra?" Eren asked.

"Bad dream." I answered. "It was a bad dream. Sorry you had to see that."

"You...you said her name in your sleep. Like two or three times." Eren said before cracking a smile. "She your lady?"

"You wish." I rolled my eyes. "Look, I guess I'm just exhausted. Forget about Petra."

"If you're exhausted we shouldn't move forward anymore today. I'll set up a fire."

"It's fine, kid. It's nowhere near night time." I waved my hand dismissively. There was silence was I flopped backwards, closing my eyes. Eren and I had been walking for only a day. We walked through the night. Well, at least, that's all I remember. All I can REALLY remember is walking... walking... walking...  
Petra crying. Petra. Petra. That's all I can remember from that dream. Her face as she cried. She tried so hard not to let me see .

"You gonna tell me who Petra is, then?" Eren asked.

"Didn't I tell you to forget about Petra?" I snapped.

"YOU obviously can't." Eren snorted. "You're muttering her name again."

"Are you kidding?" I opened my eyes. "Man, what is WRONG with me?"

"Maybe you miss her?" Eren suggested.

"Why would you say that?" I rolled my eyes in denial.

"Well, I don't see her anywhere. I assume she's dead." Eren shrugged. "And I guess you were pretty close to her." I said nothing. He said nothing. "So you gonna tell me?"

"If you fucking shut up, I will." I growled. Eren crossed his legs and folded his arms like a first grader at circle time. I sighed.

"She wasn't my girlfriend. She wanted to be, though. I knew that. Let me tell you, if I liked women, she'd be my first pick." I began.

"You're gay?" Eren asked, eyes wide.

"You got a problem with that, shitface?" I hissed.

"No, man, I'm gay too." Eren waved his hands, his blue green eyes still wide open. "Continue, please."

I sighed. "She was my coworker at he law firm I worked in. She was my boss's assistant, but was really everyone's best friend and errand girl. She barely ever took time for herself. In her free time, she'd clean things in my office for me. And she would talk to me. Sometimes I wouldn't talk back. She was okay with that. She just poured her heart out to me every single day." I stopped, feeling a smile creep upon my face but disappear as quickly as it came.

"What happened to her?" Eren asked slowly, seeing the pain that it brought me to talk about her on my face.

"Well, when the corpses came, the entire law firm barricaded themselves in the firm. We lived off coffee and snickers for a while." I said. "Petra never left my side. Eventually, with no weapons whatsoever, we found a way out together and began walking to the forest. We robbed a few people. Erwin, my boss and my partner at the time, shot them. Petra clung onto me. It was a couple of guys. Anyway, a few days later, my boss and one of his workers, Hanji, ran off together north. When I asked Petra if she knew anything, she said that-" I stopped, blinking. "You don't need to know what happened. It's not important." 

"Are you sure?" Eren cocked his head. "Is it why you're all alone?"

"Look, it's personal, and it doesn't concern you." I looked at him with a warning in my gray eyes. 

"It concerns Petra." Eren said quietly. He looked at his lap, waiting on me. He barely glanced up with puppy dog eyes. I locked eyes with him and sighed, closing mine again. I put my hands behind my head in the grass. 

"No it doesn't." I said. "She was just unfortunate enough to be caught in the middle of it. In short, my partner cheated on me and went off with someone else, and Petra had known about it."

"So...what happened? Did you yell at her or something?" Eren asked. "I mean, I don't see why not."

"God, no." I laughed quietly. "This was the sweetest girl I had ever met. I could never yell at her, no matter what she did. I told her that Erwin was fucked up and it wasn't her fault, but she just didn't forgive herself. I don't think she ever really talked to me again. Like, REALLY talked to me. Like we used to when she would clean stuff in my office."

Eren didn't respond this time. It was weird. He was staring at me like a robot, analyzing every inch of my face, completely infatuated with my story. Or maybe he was just bored.

"What're you looking at, bitch?" I spat in my rude and defensive way. My norm.

"Nothing, man." Eren blinked, shaking his head and meeting my eyes like a child. "Just waiting on the story."

"Alright." I said, remembering the night that followed a few days later. "Then one night, the other three guys in our group all turned corpse. They came after her. I killed them. I don't know if they got bit out hunting or something, but they hid it well. They almost killed her. That was the last time I ever heart her voice.

"A few days later, when we were on our own, we were fighting a group of corpses when she took a bite for me. She...she died yesterday. I shot her."

"I'm...I'm sorry, man." Eren touched my shoulder.

"Get your hands off me." I told him. "Fucking disgusting."

"Jeez." Eren said. "Well, I really am sorry."

"Don't fuckin' be." I became irrationally angry irrationally fast. "You told me you'd shut your mouth if I told you about Petra, now leave me the fuck alone to live in the past.

Two seconds later: "Levi. Levi open your eyes."

"Did I not tell you-"

"Levi, it's important."

"Don't fucking interrupt-"

"Levi!" A whispered hiss. I opened my eyes.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?!" I shouted. "And who gave you permission to call me Levi? Now shut the fuck-" and then the brat fucking covered my mouth. 

"Listen to me!" Loud whispering from Eren. He looked at me with tiny pupils and gritted teeth. I glared as fiercely as I could. Just who the fuck did this kid think he was?

"Corpses approaching from the north. A whole herd. You need to be quiet." Eren growled. 

I spit into his hand. He glared and wiped it on his jeans. "I'll just shoot them." I said. "And don't fucking touch me."

"Too many." Eren denied. "And I'll touch you in cases of life or death." 

"It's the apocalypse, kid. Everything is a case of life or death." I returned. "Also, no one gave you that fucking authority."

"Can you stop cursing for one second and just follow my lead?" Eren rolled his eyes. "Now c'mon. Get up and keep walking north."

Begrudgingly I stood and began walking alongside Eren. He began biting on his hand as the gray flowed down his skin. He skinnied rapidly until he was a fully dead, grunting, groaning, dragging corpse. He darted his eyes to me, then to the herd up ahead. 

"Play...along." His voice was like satan's. He snatched my hand with strong, dead hands. It felt like Queen Elsa was dragging me through the forest. His hands were like ice. The herd saw me. They smelled the life oozing from my body and their dead faces lit up something horrible. They began running. Dashing. Eren stopped dead. And roared.

"uuuuuuAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! AAAA!! AAA!!" Eren screeched in a low voice that made me jump. The corpses stopped walking almost immediately as Eren continued his fit. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" He snatched me by the shoulders and shook me in front of them. In corpse form he had a deathgrip. I was a tiny stuffed animal. The corpses groaned, moving foreword again. Eren responded by pounding his feet and shaking his fists and clenching my hand so hard I felt like dying right then and there. "UUUUAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! MAIH...NUH!!! MINE!!!" Oh no fucking way. There's no way those corpses understood that.

"Grrrraaaaaugh...raaaaugh..." One of the corpses moaned, stepping foreword with his arms raised. "Huhn...grry...huhn...grry..."  
"NO!" Eren shouted. "MAIH...NUH!"

"Haff...shaer...haff." The corpse offered. Wait- the corpse offered?! 

"MAY...KUH...WAY!" Eren practically screamed. "NA...OH...NAOH!!" The corpses stepped aside as Eren pulled me to his side by the waist and stomped away. 

Well that just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corpse translation: (in case u too dumb to understand it)
> 
> Maih...nuh: Mine  
> Huhn...grry: hungry  
> Haff: half  
> Shaer: share   
> May...kuh: make  
> Nah...o/Naoh: now


	3. Scream of a Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE AGAINST LGBT PEOPLE IN THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> I am not a homophobe, I love all people, however one of my characters is in fact homophobic and is not afraid to use certain terms. If you are offended by such language I suggest you turn and fucking run. Thank you.

When Erwin and I kissed I lost track of who's mouth was who's pretty quickly. It was always like that. There wasn't an awkward kiss to facepalm over because there wasn't really someone to blame. Somewhere in that herd of corpses I lost track of which grunts were Eren's and who was trying to attack me or not. Every now and again Eren would give me a violent tug to his side with the strength of a god, and every time I feared that my shoulder would be dislocated. Pretty soon the stench of death tormented me and my stomach threatened to regurgitate. I covered my nose and my mouth as Eren growled. A few corpses attempted to touch me or opened their maws, but Eren always roared and they backed off. I learned not to jump out of my skin at every sudden roar and not to shiver at every icy cold touch.

Long after we left the herd behind Eren was still pulling me along. He had eased up and stopped growling and grunting. He loosened his grip and moved his hand from my wrist to my hand. Pretty soon he wasn't dragging me anymore, but walking beside me, hand in hand. His feet ceased to drag. His eyes rolled back forward and regained their titanium white whites. His eyes were bright as ever. He gained back his muscle that had been rapidly eaten away by decay. His gray complexion faded back to an olive tan. He stood straight away. He breathed through his nose. I could no longer call him a corpse. 

And yet this stupid brat was still making physical contact.

"Can you understand me yet, brat?" I said aloud, the first words I had since he turned corpse. 

"Mmhm." Eren smiled, glancing at me. Stupid cute brat, reminding me of you. Get out of my head already.

"Good. Now fucking let go of me." I snatched my hand back, shoving it in my pocket.

"Jeez. I was just being nice." Eren rolled his eyes.

"Too nice. Knock it off." I returned.

Eren sighed, but I could tell that that stupid smile was still on his face. I wouldn't admit it, but I liked it when he smiled. The corners of his mouth lined up perfectly with his pupils as he looked straight ahead. He reminded of me of you a little too much. Cute smile. The constant tucking of hair behind the ears. The quiet chuckling. Didn't I tell you to get out of my head already?

A few hours later I was still walking easily, but Eren was dead tired. "We should stop." He said, trying to hide the panting in his voice.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes. "It is getting a little late. Get some firewood and get some rest, I'll keep watch tonight."

"Aww, but I'm hungry." Eren pouted with a smile on his face. 

"You'll manage." I told him. 

He forced me to stare at those big blue green diamonds. Classic puppy dog eyes. 

"Fine." I sighed. "You still have the water?"

"Mmhm." Eren nodded. "We ought to find more, though."

"I'm a pretty good aim." I said, careful not to come off as self centered. "I'll see if I can shoot a bird or something."

"Can I come?" Eren asked. 

"Absolutely not." I said immediately.

"But why-y-y-y?" Eren whined like a child. He was becoming increasingly annoying.

"Because you're a noisy brat. Now be quiet and-"

A scream broke my sentence. We both whipped our heads to the direction. It was male but high pitched. Like a ten-year-old's. It was pain, not terror. Goddamnit, a child could be hurt.

"Come on." I ordered Eren before snatching my axe and sprinting through the woods, Eren barely catching up. Trees upon trees upon trees later the screaming hadn't stopped. Was someone being tortured? Was someone torturing a child? 

"Armin!" Eren screamed back. 

"Armin?!" I yelled at Eren, only running faster. 

"It's Armin! He's hurt!" I didn't question him. I just wanted to keep that kid safe. Finally we came upon a stabbed kid, looking only fourteen years old. His hair was in a black undercut shorter and neater than mine, and he had a lot of freckles. Most importantly, he suffered a stab in the hand with a pretty big knife, pinning him to a tree. He wasn't struggling to pull out the knife or at least pull the knife out of the tree, but simply knelt before the tree, screaming his face off. 

"Kid! What the hell happened here?!" I shouted over his screaming. He looked straight into my eyes and stopped screaming. He looked absolutely horrified. "Armin?" I asked.

"That's not Armin." Eren said, baffled. 

"Can you talk? What's your name?" I asked.

"Shh. He shouldn't hear anyone else!" The kid whispered loudly, pressing a finger over his own lips with his free hand. Tears visibly formed in his eyes as we heard running feet approach us. "Too late."

"Marco, what have you done this time?" A man approached. He was a few inches taller than Eren, looking about 20 something. And creepy. Like the tall skinny guy who runs a funeral home. Or the man who approaches you in a long overcoat on your way home, asking about cocaine. He didn't seemed all that concerned about this Marco. He simply shook his head and sighed as if a toddler had spilled their cereal all over his floor. His eyes immediately darted to Eren and I. 

"Why hello there." He smiled warmly, looking up. He had a horse face and a creepy toothy smile. "Sorry about little Marco, here. Kids, eh?"

"Who is he?" I asked seriously. 

"A lost puppy I found. He's a little...uh...off, if you know what I mean." The man chuckled. "He's always doing stuff like this. Stabbing himself, cutting his tongue."

"He's seriously injured. He needs help immediately." Eren said. 

"Aw, no he don't." The man laughed hard. "He's just a stupid kid."

"Look, sir, you said that he was mentally challenged?" Eren said. "That means he can't help it. If you've adopted him it is your job to take care of him!"

"Hey!" The man shouted. "My son ain't no retard!"

"Eren, what did i tell you about talking?" I hissed through gritted teeth. "Look." I turned back to the man. "What he meant to say is that we can fix him up for you, if you'd like. You look like you need a break."

"What do you want in return?" The man softened up again. 

"You got food?" I asked.

"Of course!" The man laughed. "I run a farm. We got chickens and cows and goats, plus a pretty fancy garden. We're safe from corpses. Why don't you stay the night?"

"Actually, that's not-" I began.

"Fantastic!" Eren cut me off. "We'd love to." I shot Eren a death glare.

"Wonderful." The man gave a toothy grin. "I'm Jean. This is Marco."

"I'm Levi." I said reluctantly. "This is Eren, my...uh..."

"I'm his boyfriend." Eren smiled. I shot Eren a SUPER death glare. The man frowned.

"I ain't too welcoming to faggots." He scoffed. Oh, this guy's getting it. I clenched my fists and bared teeth, animalistic rage boiling inside me. Just as I was about to give this asshole a piece of my mind, Eren noticed and spoke.

"Look, sir, it's only a night, right? We won't try to turn you or your son gay." Eren said, touching my shoulder.

"Fine." Jean rolled his eyes. "I had better not see no kissin' or any of that gay stuff."

"Noted, sir." Eren smiled and nodded. "Your son could get an infection soon. Levi, would you-"

"On it." I didn't let him finish, infuriated that for one thing he was okay with this bigoted asshole opening his shitty mouth, and on top of that he had proclaimed me to be romantically involved with him. 

I tightly held Marco's wrist. Carefully, I gripped the sleep handle of the knife.

"Ready?" I asked him.

"He'll kill you." Marco whispered. I looked at Jean. 

"Like I said, he's a little off. I think he hears voices or something like that." Jean explained. I shook my head and with one tug, the knife came clean out. Marco gave no reaction as he began to bleed. I quickly shed my jacket and twisted it tightly around his wound.

"Follow me." Jean said, turning and walking off. Eren waited for me as Marco left, stumbling after Jean. I glared at Eren.

"What?" Eren shrugged.

"What the fuck was that?!" I hissed. 

"What do you mean?" Eren asked.

"Seriously? As angry a kid as you are, you didn't bludgeon him to death after he said that shit?" I growled. "The fuck!"

"He knows where the farm is. We don't." Eren said like a smart ass. "Plus, that kid Marco needs help, and even if he's an asshole, we can't take him with us."

"I know that, brat." I glared. "And also, why the FUCK was it necessary to say that I was IN ANY WAY involved with you?!" 

Eren only shrugged. "I dunno, a couple of gay guys, a long way to go alone, things might happen." 

I socked that brat square in the face before he had a chance to wink.

"Ow! What the-"

"Don't get it twisted, bitch." I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him close to my face. "I don't like you. Not one fucking bit. And once I get who I'm looking for and I kill them, I'm leaving you. So don't you ever, EVER think for one second that we could be anything at all. Because I'm. Not. Interested. Whatever sick things you have in mind, forget them now. Are we clear?"

"I'm here if you change your mind." So I shoved his ass in the dirt.

"Get up. Now." I glared. "Let's get some fucking food."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Okay so normally I don't use caps but for some reason I can't italicize things. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Ok? Ok.)


	4. Lost Puppies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: THERES A SHITLOAD OF HOMOPHOBIC SLANG IN THIS CHAPTER. LIKE SERIOUSLY. IF UR EASILY BUTTHURT FUCKING RUN.

The farm spanned only about 12 acres, half of which was a house in ruined farmland. There was, however, a barn and a yard, and a pretty successful garden growing greens. The house was a classic craftsman style farmhouse, with no visible decorations around it. There was, however, a wall of corpses smashing on the high fence near the barn.

"The regulars are back, eh Marco?" Jean laughed and shook a very traumatized looking Marco. It was then that Jean slapped his back, hiking up his son's shirt the slightest bit to reveal several deep gashes in, which were, from what I could tell, words and letters. I decided not to question it for the time being. 

"Why don't you get a head start back to the house and play with miss Diana?" Jean suggested. Marco didn't even nod- he simply bolted away faster than I could think. 

"Miss Diana?" Eren asked.

"She's another one of the family." Jean said. "Quite the perky gal."

"Wait, the family?" Eren asked again. "So there's more than just you and your son?"

"Why yes, of course. We have two other small families downstairs in the chamber." Jean smiled an old man smile. "You'll be our new addition."

"We're not staying. Only one night." I said firmly.

"Aw, darn." Jean said through gritted teeth, turning around and bending over to reach my face. He growled with a hideous grin in his southern drawl, "I do hope y'all'll reconsider. I've never had me a couple of faggots."

There goes the anger, boiling in me again. Animalistic rage. I'm about to tear this guys throat out. In my head, of course. We only need one angry idiot around here. Speaking of which, even angrier is Eren. He couldn't even hold a face that wasn't flushed red with fury and shoulders quaking. It was like a nuclear bomb had gone off inside his head.

"It would help, sir," Eren hissed through a clenched jaw and a glare. "If you didn't call us that."

"You talkin' to me, boy?" Jean straightened up again, genuinely curious as to how Eren could possibly have any concern over what verbiage he utilized. "I don't know WHO you think you are, son, but to me you just a worthless faggot."

"Shut up!" Eren snapped. "Who do you think YOU are?!" Jean drew a knife. I stepped in front of Eren with my gun already cocked, pressing the cold barrel to this guys throat. I snatched Eren's hand and held it tight. He was shaking lividly. I rubbed my thumb on the back of his hand in an attempt to keep him from exploding. He squeezed my hand. I sighed internally and furrowed my brow, getting ready for a bullshit monologue that I would deliver very, very well.

"Look, sir, I don't want your life." I lied like a perfect actor. "But if we're going to cooperate, there are going to be a few things you need to recognize. The first thing is that my partner and I are no different from you. In the eyes of God or whatever we are equal. We aren't corpses. We aren't monsters. The second thing is that you will never, ever get up in his face like that and tell him that he's worthless ever again. Understood? I thought so. Now, sir, it's not what you say behind my back that get you killed, but what you're stupid enough to say to my face."

"Hmmph."

"Apologize to him." I said.

"Or what?" Jean rolled his bloodshot eyes. 

"Or I'll shoot you and I'll shoot your son, too."

That got Jean worried. He sighed a sigh. "My apologies. I was out of line."

"Damn right you were." Eren said as I lowered my gun and put on the safety.

"Let's start over." Jean said calmly. "I'm Jean. In the house is my son Marco."

"I'm Levi." I said. "This is my boyfriend, Eren." I strangled Eren to death in my mind. 

"Right-o, then. Shall we go to the house and get some food into y'all?" Jean smiled and offered. 

"Yes, oh my god." Eren hugged his stomach with a huge smile.

"We'll meet you in there shortly to take care of your son." I said as Jean began to walk off. I looked at Eren as I threw his hand out of mine.

"What? No yelling?" Eren asked. 

I rolled my eyes. "Don't make me defend your life anymore. Stupid kid."

"You did a pretty good job." Eren cocked his head with a big grin. "That was a pretty nice monologue. It almost sounded like you meant it." Eren winked. I rolled my eyes, too tired to sock him in the face again.

"The only think I meant is that that guy's a dick." I said. "And didn't I tell you to stop thinking like that, idiot?"

"Aw, you love me somewhere in there~" Eren sang, poking me.

"You wanna get cut?" I hissed, pulling a knife. Eren smirked. "Come on. That kids gonna bleed out soon."

The house was warm inside. Like a cup of cocoa in the middle of winter. So far it was silent. There were various crosses scrawled onto the walls, and hanging crucifixes everywhere you went, and one huge crucified Jesus hanging above the fireplace. It smelled like the scented candles you get from Walgreens. And I smelled food. Delicious food. And God, it smelled good. 

"Mmm..." Eren sighed, smiling. 

"Marco? Where are you?" I called. I noticed the face poking out from behind a corner just near the kitchen. He signaled me over with his hand. 

"Eren, go find Jean and ask him if he needs help. Stay out of trouble, and come find me if anything happens, ok?" I said.

"Aww, you do care about me." Eren teased me. I shoved past him to Marco. 

"Hey, Marco, where do you keep the-" Marco snatched my hand and ran with me, pulling me past a corner and into a room with a single brown couch where a little girl sat, covering her eyes like a doll. She looked only about five years old. She wore a tattered blue and purple dress, looking like pre-princess Cinderella if she was caught in a sandstorm. Her hair had been forcibly cut close to her head like misshapen buzz cut, and her entire visible body was covered in bruises and cuts. Her bruises were of all colors- black, blue, purple and yellow- and her cuts were tiny slits all over her body in random places, careful to never once cross over each other and never to be patterned. 

I froze at the sight of her, right in the doorway. 

"He mustn't stay." The girl whispered to Marco.

"He can't be part of the family." Marco whispered back. 

"Who is he?" I asked. "And who are you?"

"You is he." The girl said.

"Eren is he." Marco said. "Diana is she."

"What's going on?" I asked. 

"Throw you in the furnace." Marco warned.

"Feed you to the corpses." Diana added.

"Make him watch." Marco twisted his head to Diana in realization. 

"Eren?"

"Him."

"What?"

"Feed Eren to the corpses first."

"Cut him up." Diana covered her mouth.

"Throw him in the furnace." Marco nodded.

Both eyes switched to me. "Make him watch."

"Make him watch him die." They said together.

"Shut up for one second." I said. "What is going on."

"It's much worse." Diana told Marco quietly."

"Worse than the furnace?" Marco asked.

"Worse than the cuts." Diana remarked.

"Worse than the corpses?" Marco asked again. Diana paused before a hideous grin crawled across her little ruined face. 

"Gonna chop him up." She said.

"Bake him." Marco agreed with a toothy smile.

"Grill him." Diana licked her lips.

"Roast him." Marco hummed.

"Serve him for dinner." They both said as their eyes locked on me.

"He'll be delicious." Marco grinned.

"Sautéed."

"Spiced."

"Tenderized."

"Shut up." I told the both of them. "Cannibalistic freaks."

They're both crazy. Something made them crazy, but they're crazy. They don't know what they're talking about. This freak has obviously been through a lot. A lot that made him a homicidal maniac. Fucking disgusting. First things first. This kid needs to have his arm fixed. "Marco. Come with me. We need to fix your arm."

"Did it to die, did it to die." Diana whispered. "Lucky boy, lucky boy."

"Come on Marco." I reached for the handle. Marco snatched my hand. 

"Did it to die. Did it to die." Marco whispered with tears in his voice. "Fail every time, fail every time."

I shook off Marco's hand. "Don't touch me, you creep." I hissed. "And you ARE going to die if we don't get your arm fixed up." I snapped, my patience dwindling into single digits. "Now come on." Marco said nothing else. Diana covered her eyes again. Marco walked calmly out of the cupboard and led me to a bathroom. It was one of those small bathrooms where the toilet is right next to the sink and there's no room for a shower. From above a mirror cabinet, Marco pulled down a first aid kit. 

"What happened to your back?" I asked as I rummaged through the kit for a needle and suture thread. 

"Cut me up, cut me up." Marco whispered. "Bad Marco, bad bad boy."

"I might need to clean that up." I said. "Is any of it still fresh?"

"Stupid boy, stupid stupid stupid!" Marco hissed at himself, knocking his head with his knuckles. I gave up in communication. This is starting to freak me out. Maybe Jean cut his back. Maybe Marco killed someone. Maybe that's why Marco is so fucked up. Maybe Marco was punished for murdering someone close to Jean. I mean, Jean is pretty fucked up in the head. He seems like the kind of guy to beat his children. Maybe the cuts were done over time. Then...how many people did Marco kill?! And what about that little girl? Did Marco do that to her? Did he hit her? Did he cut her? However, they do appear to be close. Maybe she's a murderer too. No. She can't be. She's five years old. Marco probably gave her some fucking mental trauma thing that makes her crazy. Maybe she's crazy. Maybe they're both crazy.

"Here." I said. "Give me your hand." Marco untied my jacket from his hand and rested his hand on the sink counter. I swabbed rubbing alcohol over his stab. Marco shivered when it stung.

"Why'd you do this to yourself?" I asked as I threaded the needle.

"Did it to die, did it to die." Marco answered. The freak is suicidal. Or maybe he's just a freak. 

"It's okay now. Jean is going to take care of you, right?" I tried to smile. I hate smiling. Marco only looked at me. I sighed. "Hold still. This is gonna hurt." I slipped the needle underneath his skin and pulled it out the other side. Marco gave no reaction. I stitched very carefully. Stitch, stitch, stitch. I turned his hand over to the other side.

"Did Jean hurt you?" I asked Marco. 

"Marco hurt Marco." Marco said. "Jean protects."

"You did all of this to yourself?" I asked. "What about your back?"

"Punishment." Marco wagged a finger. "Bad boys get punishments." Okay, everyone in this house is officially ultra fucked up. These kids are crazy, Marcos a murderer, Jean's a child abuser (not to mention a bigot) and didn't he say there were more people downstairs? That's it. Everyone's fucking crazy. Except maybe Eren. .... Nah, Eren's crazy too. 

"And...done." I said, clipping the end of the final suture. "Here's some bandage cloth. Don't take it off." 

A few minutes later and I was outside calling Eren's name, with him nowhere in sight. I wandered around, occasionally calling, stepping over failed planting rows and ant piles. I wandered near the fence where corpses moaned and reached for my flesh. The smell soon became unbearable and I headed to the barn. About halfway there I could identify its faded red color and I could hear the moo's, baa's, and cluck's from inside. I called Eren one final time. Then, from inside the barn, I heard a gunshot. 

I took off running, fearing for Eren's life. No, I thought, he's just a kid. Just a scared kid. Jean, you asshole. You fucking sicko. You shot a kid. You shot MY kid. I know you're crazy. I know you abuse your homicidal kids. I know things are crazy fucked up. But you shot a kid. You shot a fucking kid. You shot Eren. You shot my fucking pseudo boyfriend. How fucking dare you. 

At the time, I don't know why I cared for Eren at all. I was planning on leaving him anyway. His only use was his corpse powers. But I called him 'my kid'. He was my pseudo boyfriend. I couldn't get over it. The thought that Eren could be in fact deceased tire me apart as I sprinted with everything I had to that barn door. 

I called Eren's name with every scream in my body. 

I kicked the door in, nearly falling flat on my face as I went in, to see Jean with his shotgun at his side and blood all over the wall. "Back up!" I shouted, drawing my gun in fury and shaking uncontrollably. Jean turned and smiled.

"Well, hi there." He said. "This is the second time today you've had a gun pointed at me."

"I said back up!" I yelled. Jean laughed.

"There's no point, son." Jean shook his head and smiled warmly. "Now come help me with this body-"

"Why did you shoot Eren?!" I cried. Jeans face dropped.

"Shoot Eren? He's in the house, son." Jean laughed a belly laugh. "I shot me a chicken for dinner."

I slowly lowered my gun uneasily. Looking closer, the body on the floor wasn't Eren's but the body of a chicken. Again, I had overreacted. Of good reason, of course, but I had still overreacted.

"Come here and make yourself useful." Jean said. "Your partner there is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. He's got a boiling pot going- why don't you go and take the chicken to him?" I said nothing as I picked up the chicken with my bare hands. Unintentionally I cradled it in my arms like that of a baby. I stood there with the dead chicken in my arms for a moment or two, thinking of you and how I held your hand until your blood stopped flowing after you died. 

Eren could have been dead. Jean cod have shot him. I could have lost him. What would I have done? Even if I killed Jean and his entire fucking family, I wouldn't have been able to get over it. As much as I hate it, I've taken responsibility over Eren. He's not just some kid in traveling with. He's my kid. He's someone I have to watch over. I never would have been able to forgive myself for letting a kid get shot. What was I supposed to do? 

I carried the chicken from the barn, my heart still racing and my stomach weighted with a pit. I criticized myself for almost coming up with tears after thinking that Eren could have been shot. Why did I care that much? Why was I terrified to tears? I don't like this kid. I don't want to care for him. I don't want to he his caretaker. I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have taken responsibility for him. I knew it. My regrets always catch up to me. 

As I made my way back to the house I spotted Marco sitting alone on the porch steps, carefully running his index finger across his bandages at the speed of snail. He noticed me long before I was twenty feet from the porch. We made eye contact. He grinned. Nothing else. I looked away after a moment or two, but he stayed fixated on me. He communicated a telepathic message. A warning. It was written all over his freckled face. 

I concluded that nothing weird was going on here. Jean is a dick. His kids are creepy. They were previously harmed. End of story. I hated myself for believing for even a thought that there was some danger going on here. Since you died I've been out of order. I've been out of character. That ends now. You need to leave my head, Petra. I've said my goodbyes. Now say goodbye to me.

I entered the house to the silence I knew of the midnight. Like the many midnight a when I lay awake, all I could hear was breathing. Soft, sweet breathing. With tender secrets exhaled in each breath, in fractured fractions. Breathing with a certain caution. A certain terror. Breathing that lulled me to sleep. Breathing that made me feel safe, relaxed, like a child in his mother's arms. I didn't feel alone any longer. It was a lie. In reality the breathing could not protect me. It was different from being held in your mother's arms, your head pressed up against her chest, listening to her steady heartbeat. Your breathing was not something I could look to for safety. I was not safe. I was not being protected. You were just as scared as I was. You listened to my breathing to fall asleep. You fell asleep safe. Or feeling safe, that is. You and I were vulnerable. So very vulnerable. And yet we slept knowing that.

This breathing wasn't yours or mine, but Eren's. He stood in the kitchen, looking like he had just left a funeral, slowly chopping a spring onion. He didn't notice me. I stared at him. I explored the detailed density of his light, fluffy hair. The point of his nose. The shade of his big, blue green eyes. I watched him and I watched his fingers carefully cut. I looked at his mouth. Then his entire face. He was sad. He was so sad. 

"You ok?" I asked him. He looked up at me. 

"Fine." He smiled weakly. He wasn't able to keep it. He closed his eyes and covered his mouth, visibly suffering.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked him, moving closer and gently touching his shoulder. Eren opened his eyes, only to look at the bloody chicken in my hands. He immediately gasped, twisting away from me and slamming his back into the wall, falling flat on his ass and gagging. He covered his mouth and shivered like a sick dog.

"Jeez, I'm sorry." I dumped the chicken in the boiling water and rushed to Eren. I reached out to touch him.

"No!" Eren cried. I stopped, kneeling before him. His eyes filled with tears. "I-I'm sorry..." He choked. "I-It's just...dead animals...I can't...my-my dad, he...oh, God." Eren covered his face, crying. 

"You don't have to tell me that." I told him. "Just tell me what's happening now." I said. 

"I'm...I'm sorry...for getting you into this." Eren said slowly. "I...I didn't mean to put all this on you. Defending me. Defending my life. I know that you don't want to be here. I know that you don't want to be with me. I know that you don't like me. So...please..." Eren looked up with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. My heart literally dropped. "You don't like me...so...go."

"That's not true." I said. Eren blinked. I looked to the side, allowing myself a tiny smile. "I mean...you're stupid. You rush to anger. You make me defend you. You pretend that I'm your boyfriend. But...I do like you. I mean, you're all right in my book."

Eren looked at the tile floor. 

"Hey." I gently tilted his chin back to face me. "You really are pretty okay. You're a tough kid, Eren. You're optimistic when I'm not. You don't back down from a fight. I like that about you." Eren blinked away a few tears. "I'm sticking with you, Eren."

When Eren smiled, something in me clicked. Something made my heart beat a little faster. Something made me feel. Feel for Eren. Something made me want to see his face every day. When he smiled, I fell in love with him.


	5. Stab In The Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's bout to go DOWWWWWWWNNN
> 
> Get ready for the best cliffhanger ever. Chapter six is on the way!

At around ten at night, after we had eaten, Eren and I found ourselves sitting on the couch, looking around. It wasn't at all awkward for me, since I was just memorizing every detail about the house. I leaned up against the armrest of the couch, staring at the ceiling, counting the dots in its popcorn splatter pattern like freckles on a lover's face. Eren was on the other side of the couch, quietly sitting with his hands in his lap, looking down. He looked bored, but too afraid to show it.

It was hard for me to admit to myself that I had, in fact, fallen for a brat. I don't fall for brats. I don't fall for anyone, really. I fell for Erwin because he was extraordinary. While I had been either a god or a midgeted clean freak to everyone else, to Erwin I was a normal person. I was someone that he loved as if I was the average height or okay with a little dirt. He loved me not out of admiration, but because he simply saw me as someone else. I hadn't felt that before. Until, of course, I was betrayed. Until he chose her over me. Until he decided that he didn't love me anymore.

I can't really blame him. I mean, since he saw past that I was a short-toned and very clever businessman, and that I was a under-average height clean freak, there wasn't much to see. Those are, really, my only noticeable qualities. Hanji's an actual person. She's hyperactive. She's wicked smart. She's sharp as a tack and sociable as hell. She's also, not to mention, a relatively attractive woman. Erwin was just another man with an interest in women and landed himself with Hanji. I don't blame him for leaving me. I don't know why he loved me in the first place.

Speaking of which, why would anyone love me? Why would you, Petra, love me? Why does this brat love me? What the hell do you two see in me? Why am I so fucking special to you? As far as I recall I haven't saved either one of your lives. Except defending Eren's a few times. But he loved me before that. Do you think I'm interesting or some shit? Do you think that I'll be a shoulder to cry on? Because I'm not. You know me well enough to know that. I don't have the time or energy for bullshit. I'm not going to linger after dinner and talk with you for hours about religion. I'm not going to pretend to understand you when you cry over your words into my shoulder. I know that I'm short tempered. I know that I'm constantly complaining about things in my head. I know that I'm no optimist. So what the fuck does anyone see in me beyond my skills in law and my height? And why won't anyone tell me?

At dinner, Diana and Marco didn't say anything. They simply grinned at me with evil looks before scarfing down their dinner and skittering off into the shadows that was the stairs to the basement. Jean went on and on about how his mama taught him to raise crops and to raise kids, and all Eren and I could do was nod and mutter an 'uh-huh' here and there. The food, however, was ridiculously fucking delicious. I had to discipline Eren from shoving more food in his face than he could swallow. He was smiling even as Jean ranted. It was beautiful. I had failed to ask Jean about Marco and Diana's physical condition, nor ask about the two other 'families' he supposedly kept downstairs. 

And now, Jean had gone up to bed to wake up early and raise his crops, and Eren and I were sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing but thinking to ourselves about or past. As for me, I thought of Erwin, and how to properly kill him in a way that was quick but painful, and a way to give Hanji the mercy of not knowing until she had died herself. What? I'm not a monster. I'm not a psychopathetic beast who kills for fun. I'm after my previous lover for two things- his answers, and his head. Why I'm killing Hanji you ask? Because if I'm correct, she also left our group for dead when they promised to stick with us always.

That's when I noticed Eren and how he sniffled. I noticed the tears falling down his face and he his back arched with shivers. Quickly, I touched his shoulder. "Eren?" I asked, "what's going on?"

"A-Armin and- and Mi-Mikasa..." He sniffed. "I...I miss them so much. They...they could b-be dead...what if I never see them again?" Eren whimpered, looking at me with his big blue-green eyes. 

"You'll see them again. Dead or alive." I told him. It didn't help. He started crying again. 

"Why don't you tell me about them." I said to keep him from crying. 

"W-Well, I grew up with them both." Eren took a calming breath and began. "Mikasa's my adopted sister. Armin's my best friend. Mikasa's really pretty and she has this RIDICULOUS crush on me." Eren giggled. "Armin's a bookworm, and he's really smart. Like really smart. REALLY smart. After Armin's grandpa died he started living at my house. Then when...when the...oh god." Eren crumbled, closing his hand and breaking out sobbing. I quickly rubbed his back to calm him down.

"You don't have to tell me." I reassured him. "We can drop it."

"S-Sorry, it's okay." He sniffled, wiping his eyes. "J-Just thinking...about my parents...it's hard."

"I know." I nodded.

"Anyway, after the corpses came they took...they took my dad. And so we fled north. We met these three people...a boy, a girl, and this older man. He wasn't old-old, but he wasn't in his twenties. They started traveling with us, and kept talking about Detroit and how it would be safe up there without as many as the corpses. They started to show a lot of interest in my sister and my best friend. And then...and then one day...I got bit. They wanted to shoot me, but Mikasa protected me. And then the bite healed. Then one day I got in an argument with the guy. And Mikasa fought him. So I turned corpse and went after them, but I accidentally bit Mikasa. She turned out to be completely immune. So they kidnapped her and my friend as revenge and planned to run to Detroit where they'd sell her to the scientists."

"Detroit, right? That's...that's where my ex ran off to. There's a science community there that Hanji wanted to join." I said. 

"I-It's just...she's being sold!" Eren cried. "She's being sold and I can't do anything about it!" Eren began weeping as he held his head in his hands. "They probably raped her...tortured her...oh, God, what have they done to Armin?! That goddamn fucking Kenny-"

"Kenny?" I looked up. "Wait, what were the guy and girl's names?"

"Farlan and Isabel, why?" Eren asked. I clapped my hand over my mouth as my stomach churned and my face went pale. My legs turned to jelly and I shook uncontrollably. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Levi?" Eren asked. Just as his hand touched my shoulder, we heard Diana yelling.

"KILL YOU, KILL YOU, KILL YOU!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, following a long and female scream. We immediately jumped up and ran towards the sound, weapons drawn, ready to kill. We heard thundering footsteps behind us- Jean. He quickly shoved Eren foreword, sending him flying into the next room, followed by Eren's agonized scream. 

"Eren!" I cried. Too many things happening at once. Diana stood over a dead woman's body with blood all over her face. Jean lifted her up by the neck and began strangling her, and Eren was writing in pain on the floor.

"Le...vi..." he wheezed, rolling onto his back to show his own knife stabbed into his side. He hit something vital. 

"Jean!" I shouted. "You fucking stabbed him!" I dropped to my knees and ripped the knife out. I pressed hard on the wound to keep the blood in, but it was no use. He was bleeding out fast.

This is my fault. It was bad enough when Jean could have shot Eren, but he stabbed him instead. Eren was dying in pain. How am I supposed to go on? How am I supposed to try? Eren's dying. Eren's dying. My face, still vampire pail and locked in fear, went so cold that I couldn't feel it anymore. All I could feel was fear and heart-exploding adrenaline. I tried to comfort him, to block out all other sounds and feelings, but I couldn't. My fingers shook as I ran them through his hazelnut brown hair, and my voice trembled when I tried to tell him that it was going to be okay.

"Lev...i..." Eren wheezed again, pointing to the knife. "Save...her. I...I'll...handle...this." He shoved his thumb into his mouth. I knew what he was about to do, but I doubted it would save him. He was still going to die. He was going to die because of Jean. And that fucking infuriated me. Tears pooled in my eyes as I shook with fury.

"You fucking bastard!" I shouted with every breath inside me, snatching the knife off the floor and running straight at Jean. That was the first time I had ever stabbed someone like that. At the speed I was running at, it was like knocking into a wall. The knife stabbed right into his side, but I didn't stop there. He dropped Diana and toppled over, hissing in pain. I straddled him and pinned his neck down as I picked out the most delicate places to stab. I was fucking livid. "I'm going to make this as painful as I can." I said as I slammed the knife into his eye. He screamed. Behind me, Eren was groaning in his corpse way, moving about in the floor. Diana was regaining her breath. More and more people were entering the room to gasp at the scene, including Marco. I stabbed Jean again and again, holes in his neck, mouth, nose, and cheeks as I screamed over him. Finally when he was done and everyone was standing before me, I looked up at unfamiliar faces and glared.

"Get out." I hissed. "Never come back."

"Killed my father!" Marco accused. "Killed my protecter!"

"What the fuck did I just say?!" I shouted, getting up. "There's a fucking corpse in the room, now get out!" Everyone bolted on the word corpse. The front door opened and shut and soon, there was nothing but silence in the room. Silence, and a gasping little girl. I stood over her.

"You're welcome." I told her. "Now leave." Diana grinned.

"You'll see me again. Be sure to confess your past, Levi." She winked mischievously as my heart dropped. How could she possibly know?

Eren was standing up, a blackened wound on his side. It was closed- that's a good sign. Why didn't he tell me before that he has regenerative powers? He was clutching his side and groaning. I stood up to face him, blood all over me.

"Eren?" I asked. "Can you hear me?" Eren groaned in response. I sighed, covering my fave to hide tears begging to get out. I dropped to my knees. "Jesus, Eren, I'm so sorry." I sighed. 

"Not...your...fahlt." Eren huffed in his low groan. "Jean...fahlt."

"Are you okay? Is your wound-"

"Fine." Eren nodded. "We...keep...moving."

We raided jeans house for food and weapons. We had enough to last us weeks. Eren slowly melted back into human form as we continued the March north. The entire time I didn't speak to them, the past nipping at my heels. Could it have really been Kenny? He and the others are still alive? But...but they took Eren's friends? They're still working as kidnappers? I haven't seen Kenny since the day he made me kill that poor kid's mother. I'll never forget his stunning blue green eyes, filled with tears.

Something in my head clicked as I put the pieces together. Eren's tortured past. His refusal to mention his parents. Kenny Ackerman. All hidden behind the blue green infinity of Eren's eyes. It was all folding in.

"Eren." I quickly turned to him, more serious and scared than I had ever been. "You have to tell me what happened the night your mother died."

Eren looked as if he had been stabbed. His face went completely pale before frowning. "It's a sensitive subject, drop it."

"Eren." I said loudly, grabbing him firmly by the shoulders. "Tell me right now."

"Why should I? Let go of me!" Eren yelled.

"Because I might know who took your friends." I breathed. Eren's eyes widened and his pupils dilated to the side of a single grain of sand. "But this all depends on what you tell me."


	6. Green Infinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNIN 4 STRONG LANGUAGE YALL
> 
> AKA THE C WORD
> 
> DONT GET BUTTHURT

"Who took them." Eren whispered. I didn't answer. "Levi?" His voice shook. "Come on. Tell me." I stayed quiet. "Who took them?!" Eren shouted. He was crying. Tears that he couldn't control streamed freely down his face. I was enveloped with guilt and remorse, knowing exactly what I had done and who was standing before me.

"Who took your mother." I asked back.

Eren realized that he wasn't getting anything out of me until he told me of his mother, the touchiest subject he knew. And that infuriated him. He balled his fists and clenched his jaw, shaking. "Some kid." Eren spat with tears in his eyes. "When I was five, some teenage kid stabbed my mom to death while two others held me down! I don't know why you need to fucking..." I didn't hear the rest. My head was growing rapidly dizzy, and suddenly, I felt a certain weightlessness. I was falling, falling, falling-

 

THUD.

 

"Why aren't you coming with us?" I asked him. My tall caretaker grinned, and I knew what would happen when he grinned. Someone was going to die. Only, I didn't see why. Multiple times before now Kenny would grin and kill a man, maybe a woman, sometimes an entire family. Farlan, Isabel and I would raid the house for valuables, and we'd get the hell outta dodge. 

My face went pale. He expected us to do the killing. "Kenny, you're not really serious, right? Why these two? They're poor. They have nothing. And why us three." 

"No." Kenny said. "Just you." He pressed a knife into my hand as his grin grew wider, moving the edges of his gray goatee. My heart dropped. 

"You...you don't really expect me to do this, do you? I-I'm not about to kill a kid and his mom!" I said, clutching the knife tight. 

"Not the kid. Just the mother. Make him watch." Kenny snickered. 

This man was evil. I knew that before. But I hadn't realized it until now. This man, although my uncle, proclaimed himself as my father. He taught me to fight. He taught me to defend myself. He took in my two friends. This man, although my caretaker, was a criminal. He was a serial killer known as 'Kenny the Ripper'. He murdered families. He slaughtered children. And the children he didn't slaughter, he sold to the underground sex trade. He forced us to steal. He taught us to lure children home and beat them up. He taught us to butcher animals. Even through all of that, I hadn't realized how truly evil this man was. 

"Why?" I said in a tiny whisper.

"I want you to have your first taste." Kenny said. "I've always wanted to give you your first taste of a kill. You're a strong boy for fourteen. You're much more gifted than I or your other two brats. Think of how far you could go!"

"Kenny, I-"

"Shut the fuck up." Kenny growled. "Iz, Farlan, get in there. Get the kid." Isabel saluted playfully while Farlan kicked the door in. I whipped my head around, watching this scene unfold. I honestly had no choice. It was to kill or be killed. 

Screaming. A child screaming for his mother. A female shriek. More young screams. Isabel and Farlan giggling. I looked at Kenny one last time. Shining in the moonlight was a face I'll never forget. It was indescribable. If I ever read Satan's signature upon a face, it was that of Kenny Ackerman. I'll never forget that shining, toothy, Cheshire-catlike smile. I didn't want to look any longer. I turned on my heels and bolted inside, where the mother was on the floor with a knife pinning her foot down. The kid was being held under his arms by Isabel and Farlan. He was kicking and screaming. 

"Get 'em, big bro!" Isabel cheered. The kid's eyes darted to me, full of tears. The shining, glittering blue green infinity planted in this kid's skull petrified me. It was a look of pure rage and terror, it spoke to me. It felt like I had been shot. He stabbed me right in the soul. If looks could kill, I'd evaporate into hell. I looked back at the woman.

"Who are you?! What do you want?!" She wailed. "I'll give you anything! Please, just don't hurt my boy!"

I was quivering as I stood in front of her, knife clenched. Tears began to pool in my eyes. The woman continued begging. I answered to nothing. The time had come. I approached her slowly.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered before I swung my knife up, and planted it right in her throat.

 

"Levi!" Eren was shouting again, shaking me by the shoulders until I gasped for air and sat bolt upright, panting like a dog.

"Levi!" Eren again. "Tell me right now! Who took Mikasa and Armin?!" I responded by hurling myself into Eren, holding him tighter than I had held anything before. "Levi?" Eren asked as I shivered.

"I'm so sorry." I said. "I really am."

"What the hell is going on?" Eren said. "Who took Mikasa and Armin? How do you know them?"

"Eren." I looked Eren directly in the eye, preparing for what I was supposed to say. His eyes stopped me yet again, forcing me to stare for a second. "I killed your mother."

Then came the worst silence I had ever felt. I let go of Eren to look at his face. He was sitting there with a dumbfounded look on his face, like he couldn't comprehend what I had confessed. "You...you're not...why the fuck are you making jokes like that?!" He shouted. When I didn't answer, he realized I was serious. He began shaking. He covered his mouth as tears rushed to his eyes. I watched him, watching as disbelief morphed to sadness, and then to livid fury. He went redder than I had ever seen him. He snatched a knife and tackled me, straddling me and pinning me down, knife at my throat.

"Give...give me one FUCKING REASON...why I shouldn't STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT!" Eren screamed. I closed my eyes and waited for the stab wound. It didn't come. There was angry huffing, a few tears splashing on my face, until it all died down and I found Eren sitting atop me and crying into his arm.

"Why." He sniffled. "Why'd you do it? W-Why did you...take my mom?" I opened my eyes. Eren rushed to anger again. "FUCKING ANSWER ME! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY MOM?!"

"...I didn't want to."

"You still fucking did."

"Let me start from the beginning. Get off me."

"No."

"Fine."

Silence.

"Tell me already!"

"Do you know what the underground district of Detroit is?" I asked Eren, sitting up as best I could. Eren furrowed his brow.

"What about it?" Eren growled.

"I was born there." I said. "When my own mother died, my uncle took me in. Kenny."

"You're...you're related to him?" Eren slid of me, wiping his eyes.

"He was a criminal." I continued. "He liked to dip his nose in everything. Drugs, child sex slavery, murder, you name it. And he taught me to do it all. It was all I knew."

There it was- the blue green infinity of Eren's eyes, dazzling in disgust. He looked absolutely horrified at the monstrosity of a person sitting before him. What would it feel like, I ask you? To fall in love, unknowingly, with the person who singlehandedly took your childhood from you? What would it feel like to look that person straight in the face? I can't answer that. I wouldn't know. My mother was taken from me at the tender age of five, and by illness. All I can say is that it's painful to even think that.

"He took in my two best friends, Isabel and Farlan, too. They were the ones holding you down. They never knew any better. They have no remorse. But I love them, always." I looked at the ground I sat on. "Then one day he told me to kill your mother. I had no choice."

"That's a fucking lie. That's a lie, and you know it." Eren growled.

"Have you met Kenny? He's not afraid to kill me."

"You were the one holding the fucking knife!" Eren shouted. "You could have killed him! You could have saved my mother! But you killed her instead. You fucking coward." It was true. I hadn't realized it before. I was a cowardly little bitch. 

"I ran that night. I haven't seen him since."

"I don't think you understand what you did to my family." Eren sniffled, darting furious eyes to me. "Mikasa was traumatized. I was all alone for days. My father went insane! He...did things. He did horrible things. I... I can't...oh, God." Eren covered his mouth, starting to cry again.

"Eren..." I reached out and and touched his wet cheek, which he instantly slapped away.

"Don't touch me! Don't you dare fucking touch me!" Eren's voice cracked as he sobbed freely. I pulled my hand back to watch him as he cried. It was almost as if the dazzling glimmer in his eyes was dripping away with every tear, the color fading with each drop of sadness. He began to hollow with sadness.

"Levi...what he did to me...will never heal." Eren breathed. "I will never, ever forgive you."

I didn't say anything else for the rest of the night, nor did my corpse acquaintance. He eventually stopped quietly weeping and holding himself as we walked side by side. He meditated on what I had told him, as it read on his face. He was pale. Paler than I had seen him before. What's worse, the blue green vibrancy of his eyes had literally drained and was replaced with a cool gray, until it seemed that his eyes were just a black speck in a sea of white. He was skinny like a corpse. He didn't seem to be walking anymore. He literally began to move through things like flowers and grass, leaving a path of shriveled, gray corpses where his feet had passed. He began to appear transparent. Eren was fading away.

He should have killed me. He shouldn't have waited for my answer as he cried over me. He should have stabbed my to death and moved on. Taken the revenge for his mother he so righteously deserved and longed for. I owed him my life. I owed him a mother. I owed him a father. I owed him a childhood. He should have taken it from me. Why didn't he? Why wouldn't he?

I stared at the moon through the trees.

 

The night passed without sleep. By Dawn Eren had returned to his regular form- a living, breathing, livid human being. He didn't speak to me. I didn't speak to him. He avoided my eyes as best he could.

"Are you hungry?" I broke the sacred silence. My voice was different than I remembered. It trembled. I shivered when I received no answer. "Are you tired?" Nothing. There was a long pause. "Why didn't you kill me before?"

"You know why." His voice was different as well. Low. Gravely. "Why did you save me back at that murder farm?"

"...you know why."

"Don't fucking pull that shit on me, you deceptive cuntwagon." Eren flashed me his furious glare. "I know what you are. I know how you feel about me."

"You really don't."

Eren turned on his heels, drawing his gun and glaring. "Try me, you little bitch."

"Do it." I told him. "You should have done it before. You should have done it the day we met."

"You should have turned the knife on your uncle." 

"Why won't you do it?" I asked. "You're not scared, are you?"

"Do I look scared?" Eren hissed.

"Just do it!" I shouted.

"No!" Eren shouted right back. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Then don't point your fucking weapons at me." I glowered. 

That pissed him off.

Next thing I knew he shot me in the foot.


	7. Warm Hands Over Freezing Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shits bout to go down.
> 
> Get ready for description overload.
> 
> <3

"Levi, I...I have to tell you something." You breathed, your voice trembling as you tried your best to stand tall and firm. 

"Petra, I can't right now." I shifted my head in my hands as in flattened my back against the tree trunk. How could he do this to me? How could he have left without leaving me any explanation for his departure?

"Levi, this is really, really important." You insisted strongly, your voice breaking towards the end of your declaration.

"Petra, no." I lifted my head to you and glared. 

"Pet, you oughta let it be." Eld touched your shoulder, which you immediately shrugged off. 

"Levi, please, listen to me." You were beginning to shiver as you clasped your hands together in front of your chest. 

"Cut it, Ral." Gunther said. "Just leave him alone, be a little considerate."

"Shut up!" You finally cried. "This is really important to the situation on our hands!"

"Petra, we KNOW." I groaned, standing up to intimidate you. "I'm well aware by now that my partner was having an affair with Hanji and therefore ran off with her. You don't need to fucking remind me."

"It's not that!" You cried right at my face, stamping your foot. "Would you please just listen to me?!"

"I'm all fucking ears, Ral!" I shouted back, scaring you. "You have the fucking floor! Now tell me something I don't fucking know!"

"I...um..." You looked down.

"Uh-uh. No. You fucking spit it out." I growled.

"I knew." You muttered.

"What?"

"I...I knew." You looked up with teary eyes. "I knew all along. That...that Erwin and Hanji were...together."

"You what?" I furrowed my brow, too baffled to be angry. 

"I-I'm sorry." You covered your face. I quickly forced your hands off your face.

"Explain. Now." I commanded you. 

"I...I saw them...one night. Before it all went to hell." You confessed quietly. "I...I tried to leave to tell you but- but Erwin noticed me." You suddenly held yourself and burst into tears. "I needed the job, Levi, I'm sorry!"

At this point, all eyes were on you, who was quietly crumbling in the middle of the forest. Everyone was dumbfounded. Baffled. Flabbergasted. I stared right into your teary hazel eyes and struggled to breathe. You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me? Why? Are you upset with me or something? Is this because I won't go out with you? What the fuck?! Even more upset than me was Oulo, who had taken care of you more than anyone else, and who also worshipped me like a god. 

"Petra, what the fuck?!" He shouted suddenly, making you jump and turn around. "You can't just backstab the corporal like that!"

"Oulo, shut up!" You cried, clasping your hands over your ears. Oulo furiously stomped over, shoving your hands off your ears. 

"This isn't like you! What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Get your hands off me!" You began crying.

"Both of you, shut the FUCK up!" I roared, forcing you both into silence as the entire team stared at me. I took two breaths, looking over the rest of the team with narrow eyes. "I want everyone to calm the shit down. Oulo, get away from Petra. Now. Eld, take Petra into the woods and talk this out with her. Gunther, keep doing what you're doing. I'm... I'm gonna go find a tree to chop down."

 

I opened my eyes slowly. It was chillier than the day before on my bare arms. I had time only to notice that before the pain in my left foot set in. Searing pain. Stabbing pain. It was horrid. And not only in my foot- in my chest, too. Like a heart attack. There was a freezing pit opposite of my heart. I writhed on my back in the darkness of the night, biting my lip and hissing. I was too tired to sit up and too scared to shriek in pain. I prayed that soon, the pain would slowly melt away, or, at least, that I wouldn't notice it anymore.

God, how did I get here? What happened after I was shot? It was too dark to see where I was in the darkness. All there was was the pitch of the night and the uncountable stars in the sky, all attempting to outshine each other, but weakly countered by the majesty that was the crescent moon, a sliver of silver light watching over the universe. But none could compare to the glimmering blue-green explosion that was Eren's irises. They lit up like fire in surprise, practically screamed with emotion when angered, and when in great sorrow, let tears carry away bits of its indescribable vibrance. 

Eren... 

Where is he? Is he okay? I can't hear his breathing anymore. His safe, soft breathing close to me to make me feel less insecure than I am. Where are the painkillers that are his every heartbeat? I reached my hand into the darkness, grabbing and snatching at nothing but air. I couldn't sit up, couldn't call. I could do nothing but whisper.

"Brat..." I breathed. "Eren...please...are you there?" What if he's not there? What if he's been hurt? What if he's dead? "Eren? Eren?" I frantically wheezed, hissing in agony, gripping the ground as far as my arms could stretch. I couldn't move further. Couldn't sit up. I was in too much pain. Handicapped. Disabled. In the worst of times. "Eren!" I tried to scream, to cry out, to wail, but all I could manage was an old man's gasp, barely understandable. 

The pain was getting to me. I couldn't take this for much longer. Hissing in excruciating agony, I turned my head to look at the shapes in the shadows. Nothing...nothing... There! There was a lump. Like a torso on its side. It was there, just out of reach. If I could only...urrgh...Stretch...ah! Ow! Something in my arm pulled. I recoiled back and rolled my eyes at myself, getting nowhere while simultaneously subjecting myself to more pain. I cried again, "Eren..." But sounded like a lung cancer patient. I was nearly paralyzed with pain at this point. If I could just...roll over...

With all the force left in my body, I struggled horribly to lift the left half of my body and roll onto my stomach. Upon the thud I nearly screamed in pain, but I only managed a agonized gasp. I had to do it. Turn the left side over...hhngh...agh! The pain once more branded my body like a hot iron and stabbed me like a knife. Finally, FINALLY, I managed to rest on my side while using the last ounce of energy I had to reach out for him...reach out for help...

Eren...

I grasped fabric. Tough fabric. It was cold and soft enough to push through. Much different from Eren's sweatshirt. I didn't question it. That is, until I felt the handle of a zipper. No. No no no no no no no no NO. It's...it's not...fuck! It's his backpack. Only his backpack. In anger I weakly punched it before curling back into fetal position. Fuck. Goddamn it. It isn't Eren. Eren is still in missing. And I'm still paralyzed in pain. EXCRUCIATING pain. It's beginning to make me hyperventilate. No. No, I can't black out now. Where's Eren? Eren?

"Eren...Eren!" I gasped and wheezed in what was now absolute terror and pain. I frantically grasped with everything I had in me until suddenly, a warm had pressed on my neck, calming me the slightest bit. Eren?

"Er...en? Eren?" I struggled to breathe, to even whisper.

"Shh." A female hush. It sounded like your voice. But younger. Another warm hand was cupped over my mouth. As I focused on the warmth my pain and terror seemed to melt away. I breathed carefully.

"Who is that?" I asked quietly.

No answer. With the warm hands still on my throat, my left foot was suddenly lifted up and stimulated with pain. I writhed and struggled, only for the hands to clasp tighter and my foot to be stripped of its shoe and constricted by a certain bondage. The pain was beginning to subside, but not in my chest. It was still colder than the night. Then, the heated hands slipped off my neck and my foot was laid back down.

"Eren? Eren?!" I whispered. "What...what are you..."

"Shh. You owe us one, okay?" A cute female voice said as a kiss was planted on my cheek. "Remember the names: Historia and Ymir."

"Wait...where's...where's Eren?" I panted.

"Relax. He's safe." The female voice assured me. "We have him."

"What have you done with him? Let him go!" I cried.

"He's okay, I promise." Another kiss. "He's staying the night in our home, don't worry."

"I don't believe you. I want to see him. Where is he?"

"He's safe." The voice was firm. "You're too fragile to move. In the morning, you'll be healed and he'll be back by your side. Take my word for it."

I called out again and again, but I got no answer. Again and again I cried into the night. Eren! Ymir! Historia! SOMEONE! But no one was there. I was alone again, alone with the company of the trees rustling and my own breathing, yet somehow, I didn't feel alone at all. Someone was there. Watching me. It wasn't that I was being watched that unnerved me, but that someone was watching me struggle, helpless. They were watching me repeatedly call for help, yet they refuse to answer me. Do they enjoy this? Are they afraid? Is it Eren? Is Eren watching me?

Okay, that's enough. I'm not dealing with this. I'm not letting this happen to me. Slowly, with my less-pained body, I began to sit up. "Urrgh.." I groaned as the chill in my chest iced rapidly, filling me with sub-zero temperatures and forging me to flop back down. Again I tried. "Gah..." I managed to sit up and hunch over, resting a bit so that my chest could heal. Carefully, I shifted to my knees...AURGH!! I slammed my face into the dirt, writhing in pain and clutching the epicenter of pain in my chest with both hands. I hissed and struggled, unwilling to be defeated. Reluctantly I put a foot up, and in one great heave and a stab of freezing pain, I was on two feet. Two feet hurt like hell on my bullet-blasted foot. Damn.

Hunched like an old man, I whipped my head around for the person watching me, but couldn't see one. "I know you're there, asshole!" I shouted. Then my eyes caught a light up the hill. It was the light from a window. That girl...she must've gone there. I was getting there, but I wasn't about to make a long and painful stagger up the hill. I'm not going through that shit again. Looking to my right I snatched Eren's backpack, hugged it tight, and took off running.

It was only milliseconds later that I started screaming, but my feet never stopped moving. I ran like the fucking wind, screaming the entire way. With my every movement came excruciating agony, but I fought it. I ran from it. I ran faster. Faster. Up the hill. The light is getting closer. Just...just a little...further!

And that's when I saw her. 

A tiny blonde.

With a knife to Eren's throat. 

I screamed out.

"Eren!"

Eren whipped his head to me, gasping and reaching out his arm. "No! Levi! It's a tra-"

BOOM.

And then everything was gone.


	8. Aqua Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing, Ymir and Krista!
> 
> I'm pretty much gonna put in every snk character ever...

When I awoke, everything was just the right shade of warm. It was like being in a mother's womb. There was no longer any pain. Not in my leg, not in my chest... I simply felt numb. Numb and warm. As much as I wanted to stay in the warm sanctuary that was behind my eyelids, I was too curious to stay sleeping. I opened my eyes to a gray-blanketed sky outside a dew-speckled window. Looking around but refusing to move, I found myself beneath a mountain of blankets. I was snuggled deep into a nest of rainbow-colored, silky soft covers, atop a feather mattress with pillows all around like a fortress. On my nightstand there was a casual oil lamp, but the light from behind the thick clouds was enough. 

I didn't know where I was. More importantly, I didn't know where Eren was. He could be dead. He could have gotten his throat slit. Wait- before the noise, he tried to tell me that it was a trap. Maybe someone rescued us. Maybe we're in their house. Or, maybe, it was all a bad dream. There are no corpses. There is no Eren. It was all a nightmare.

As if. 

I'm not that stupid.

Quickly, I pushed off the colossal mound of covers and comforters and stood on my two feet. The floor was cold- cold, like the night before. I was reminded by my body that I was immensely hungry. My gut roared in need as I stood in Aqua-blue silk pajamas (I'm not even going to ask anymore) and demanded nourishment. "Alright, alright, shut up." I rubbed my stomach into submission as I rolled my eyes. Laying next to my bed was my fully-restored pack, complete with clothes, toothbrush, and most importantly, food. I dug inside, snatching a cliff bar and practically inhaling it and stuffing the wrapper in my pocket. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I twisted the brassy knob on the door and left the sanctuary of pillows. 

"Eren?" I called, just as the chill returned in my chest. I pressed my warm hand to the center of the cold and pressed forward down a creaky hallway. The light wasn't on, and each step I took on the wooden floors screamed bloody murder. I walked carefully as I cringed at the squeaky noises. At the end of the hallway was a single door, light oozing from the crack beneath it. Like any protagonist, I again twisted the knob and entered uninvited, looking for my attractive counterpart. 

He's probably still furious at me. He should be. I don't know why I keep expecting him to forgive me. Knowing a kid that angry, he'll probably be mad at me for years. This outbreak'll be over in only a month or two. I wonder if I'll be arrested, assuming I survive the apocalypse. Even so, the last time I saw him, he tried to protect me. He tried to warn me. Or was that just a dream? I dreaded seeing his face. I prayed not to walk in and see him. I almost didn't want to find him.

Behind the door, I met eyes with him immediately. He was sitting in the same pajamas as me at a kitchen counter with a mug of steaming liquid. He stared at me in what seemed to be shock for a mere moment before his face reddened with anger and he turned back to his mug. I didn't call his name. I only examined him over. He was pale, but not ghost pale, and he looked thin, but not corpse thin. He wore his hair shaggy and scruffy, as usual. His eyes still glowed the brilliant blue green. He looked fine, save for a long scar on his neck that I hadn't seen before. It had fresh new sutures, as if it had been sewn only days ago.

The room, a conjoined kitchen and living room, looked absolutely perfect. No boarded windows or broken doors, no bullet holes or scratches. It looked as if the apocalypse hadn't touched the place. It was furnished beautifully, with a Victorian-ish feel to it. The windows bore draping velvet curtains. The couch was a soft, buttoned claw foot. The carpet was blood red with those dangly things on graduation caps on the ends. This place was rich. This place was a sanctuary. Holy deus ex machina. 

"You're awake." A voice. A female one. Darker than the one of the girl last night. I turned to see a girl taller than Eren, with dark freckles on tan skin, and her dark hair pulled into a low ponytail. She was tall and slim, probably hiding an eight pack under her shirt. She also came with estimated b-cup boobs. Well, not that I would care, at least.

"Who're you?" I asked.

"You can call me Dr. Y." She smirked. "What about you, shortstop?"

"Levi." I flashed her a glare. "Where am I?" I asked.

"You and your boyfriend are in my house." She put a hand on her hip. "Speaking of which, that ghost crystal in your chest hasn't healed yet. Get your little ass in bed, tiny." I didn't even bother asking what the fuck a ghost crystal was. I simply gave her the 'You can't tell me what to do' look and turned to Eren.

"Cmon, Eren, find your stuff, we're leaving." I told Eren. Dr. Y shrugged.

"Krista!" She called. "Come meet shorty!"

Eren quickly got up upon hearing the girl's name, rushing to my side, grabbing my hand. His hand shook in what felt like simply instability. His skin was chilly to the touch, but I didn't question it, still melancholic of his uncontainable rage. Quiet footsteps approached, her flats clip-clopping like stiletto heels on the hardwood floor. Eren shook on his bare feet. I squeezed his hand. Finally the door opened to reveal her- the short blonde woman, inches shorter than I. The woman with a blade to Eren's throat in my dream. She smiled as she stood next to Dr. Y.

"Hello there." She smiled. "I'm doctor Krista Lenz, and this is my wife, doctor Y. A pleasure." She extended a dainty hand, fingernails painted pitch black.

"Pleasure's all mine." I shook her hand, seeing as she was friendly, but keeping my suspicions. "Where are we?"

"Safety." She answered. Nothing else. I paused.

"How long have we been here?"

"A safe amount of time." She replied like a broken record, creeping me out.

"We'll be leaving soon. Thank you for your service." I said firmly, rubbing my thumb on Eren's hand as he twisted to me with a terrified expression.

"But you've just woken." Krista protested. "You're certainly not safe enough to go out. And why would you ever want to leave safety?"

"We're after a few people." I said. "And we've really gotta go. We can't waste any more time like this."

"But it's not safe! Especially not with your foot and your chest and shoulder!" Krista cried suddenly, snatching me by the shoulders and shaking me violently. "Don't you know what's out there?!" 

I shoved her off like clockwork, panting as the delicate blonde slammed against the marble counter. She coughed, choking on her own spit. Dr. Y quickly rushed to her side, setting her upright as Krista brushed herself off. She flashed me a glare as she began again. "I beg you, Levi, stay here."

"No." I refused bluntly, pulling Eren to my side. He hugged me around the hips. Krista huffed through her nose before displaying her original angelic smile, like I had never shoved her. She stepped indescribably close to me, looking up so that our noses just touched and her breasts brushed against my chest. Her grinning mouth was centimeters from my lips. I was too confused to move as she rose to her tiptoes, just barely matching my height, and suddenly pressed two fingers to the center of pain in my chest. I gasped and groaned weakly as the chill took over and I collapsed to the floor, laying perfectly at her feet.

"Levi!" Eren cried, pushing me up and hugging me. His warmth loosened the tight pain in the tiniest way. I grasped my chest, struggling to sit up and glare at Krista. She was standing over me with her wife, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I swear I saw her eyes flash red.

"You're free to go." She whispered in my ear, and said nothing else. Eren grabbed his bag and helped me to stand up. I leaned on him, shivering like December. Dr. Y and Dr. Lenz watched us leave with a clockwork smile on their faces. I grasped the doorframe as Eren went ahead for one last look. I swear I saw tears dripping from Dr. lenz's face.

I left that house in nothing but my aqua blue pajamas.

Not even a minute later and I had collapsed to the ground in front of the steps, the Januarian freeze stopping my heart. I gasped out a 'help' as Eren came running to my side. Again, he cried my name as he pulled me into his arms, checking my pulse and gasping. Like a professional he slammed his fist against my frozen heart, breaking the frost and allowing my blood to flow again. I panted breaths, sitting up again.

"Eren?" I asked.

"What?"

"Why do you keep helping me?"

"Don't make me answer. You know why."

"No...just...why?" I stared into his blue green lamps as his eyebrows furrowed. Slowly, he came to rest his hand on my shoulder. He was silent like the forest, his breathing like the wind's song, chilling me to the bone and lulling me to sleep, to safety. He breathed, refusing to look into my eyes as tears welled in his own, until finally he suddenly turned his head to me with tears spilling from his bottom eyelids.

"Levi," He whispered. "What am I supposed to do without you?"

At that moment I couldn't take it anymore. I sealed the distance between us with my lips, bringing my mouth to his and kissing him softly. He took a breath in my mouth, gasping quietly before kissing back.

The moment was over in seconds as another boom broke the air and both of us were tackled to the ground. As the force was lifted off of us, the female voice came again. The voice from the night. The voice of Dr. Lenz.

Except, looking up, this wasn't Dr. Lenz at all. Like a punk rock doppelgänger. She was grinning with confidence.

"Dr. Krista?" Eren questioned.

"Wrong twin!" The girl corrected with a laugh. "I'm Historia, and back there is Ymir. Look, I'll explain in a second, but for now, we have to run!"

"What?!"

"Hey!" The voice of Dr. Y barked. I looked back. She was carrying a shotgun with a knife in her teeth. 

"See?" Historia said. "I win! Now let's haul ass!!"


	9. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gory time! +DOUBLE BACKSTORY COMBOOOOOO
> 
> Okay I'm too hyped

Around sunset, shrouded by the clouds, Eld and Petra finally emerged from the forest they had previously disappeared into. The sky was a mess of illumination, clouds painted into the sky, blending with the violet, the Orange, the yellows and the shade of the blood-red sun, hidden behind clouds, stars just beginning to wake up and yawn. Petra looked as solemn as I would on a daily basis, with a hint of fear painted with her frown. Eld had a hand on her shoulder, looking straight ahead. 

Oulo spotted her before I did, quickly popping of the tree trunk I had fallen and rushing to her. She said something. He said something, checking her up and down. She said something else and he gave her a quick hug. I looked up from carving the trunk with my knife to meet her hazel eyes. She didn't shake or hitch her breath when she saw me. Her face softened. I looked back to the rubber duck I was carving into the trunk, stabbing my knife into the wood and standing up.

"Is everyone alright?" Eld asked. I flashed him a look. Gunther came up behind me, stepping over the trunk as we unintentionally formed a circle. I saw Petra take a deep breath.

"We need to stick together." She said. "Like we originally promised."

"Erwin and Hanji are traitors." Eld said. "Erwin blackmailed Petra with her job. I say we go to Detroit, we find them, and we kill them."

I didn't flinch at the thought of killing. Blood. Revenge. It hadn't occurred to me that it was an option. Carefully, breathing in and out, I bowed my head and outstretched my hand to the middle of the circle. "I'm in." There was a long and uneasy pause as my hand sat alone, suspended in air, until another hand firmly and suddenly slapped on top of mine.

"I'm in, too." Oulo said strongly. "I'm always with the corporal."

"Me too." Gunther added his hand to the mix, then Eld's until we were just waiting on Petra. She grasped her wrist, shaking with tears in her eyes, until she bit her lip and added her hand.

"I'm...I'm with you guys." She declared shakily. 

"Let's go." I instructed as we dropped our hands.

 

"Where the- where the fuck are we going?!" Eren shouted as we sprinted like hell away from the house as more shots broke the air.

"I don't know, that's the beauty of it!" Historia cried gleefully, spreading her arms and laughing out loud. "Come and get me, suckers!" She taunted her doppelgängers.

"This is insane!" I shouted.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Historia beamed, running ahead of us. "Come on, run faster!"

"Hey babe, where are we headed?" Another doppelgängers joined, this one of Dr. Y.

"No clue!"

"Haha, I like it!" She declared, grabbing her hand and cheering.

I could feel it happening again. The freeze was creeping in. My body temperature was dropping. The world, inside and out, became rapidly colder. I went pale upon realization, combined with the sheer terror of feeling your organs shrivel in the cold, and feeling your blood begin to freeze in your veins, until physically, you couldn't feel your body working. You couldn't feel your heart pumping, for it pumped so rarely, and you couldn't get a full breath, for your alveoli had shriveled and died. I grasped my chest, the coldest point in my body, beginning to slam myself hard in the chest, knocking the wind out of myself, trying to do as Eren had done, and failing.

"Levi?" Eren wheezed, running out of breath. I twisted my head to him, the vertebrae of my spine freezing in place, communicating an answer of terror through my eyes, which were rapidly freezing over themselves. With no blood running through my veins, I had nothing to keep moving and nothing to help me breathe, I collapsed in a frozen block. Eren skidded to a halt, trying to beat my chest back to normal, but it wasn't working. I had seconds left.

"Help!" Eren screamed. "Help him!" Historia ran back.

"What the hell? We're being pursued, get up!" She demanded.

"He's freezing over! It's in his chest! Help him!" Eren cried again and again, shaking me as my lips turned blue and I could barely feel my brain anymore. I had literally seconds.

"Chest, huh?" Historia quickly ripped out a knife, and without hesitation, stabbed me. I couldn't even scream. I couldn't writhe in pain, either. But Eren could.

"What the fuck are you DOING?!" Eren screamed louder than I had ever heard him scream, trying to shove her away as she kept cutting, reaching her hands into my body and fishing around.

"Damn, this is like cold fish guts! Cool!" She applauded, finally grasping something. "Aaaand...got it! No, wait, that's his heart."

"What are you doing?! Stop it! You're going to kill him!" Eren screamed again and again, over and over, tears pouring from his eyes until finally, she squealed.

"Got it!" She declared, ripping out a black block, and holding it in her bloody hands. "Whoa, cool! That's cold!" As soon as it was out I screamed bloody murder, in absolute agony and disgust as my own blood spurted all over me.

"Levi!" Eren cried, holding me as I panted, unable to breathe in my own excruciating pain. Eren twisted to Historia. "He's bleeding out, you psycho!"

"Ugh, fi-iiiine." Historia rolled her eyes, taking off her already-tiny skull tank top/crop top and balling it up him her fists, then jamming it forcefully into my chest. "Now get up and haul ass!"

It stopped the bleeding, but worsened the pain. So basically, I wasn't going to die and end the pain, but just suffer. Seems reasonable. Not. I couldn't get up. Couldn't move. I could do nothing but grasp the grass, bite my tongue and endure. Eren was still holding me, hugging me around the shoulders. He was crying. He knew that I couldn't get up. 

"I'm taking off, losers!" Historia giggled, pulling down her bottom eyelid and sticking her tongue out before skip-sprinting away. Ymir dashed over in her place.

"Eren, leave him." She said.

"No." Eren glared.

"You'll die."

"I don't care."

"Goddamn it, Eren!" Ymir snapped. "He's done for anyway, leave him here! I'm not about to take a bullet for your ass!"

"Then don't!" Eren shouted back. "But I'm not leaving him!"

"Fucking go, you idiot." I wheezed. "There's no other choice!"

"Catch up or don't. I'm out." Ymir said before sprinting off. 

"Levi?" Eren whimpered, touching my face as his tears splashed my face. I managed a small smile.

"It's going to be okay. Just go."

"I'm...I'm not doing that!"

"For me. Do it."

"Levi...please..."

"Hey." I weakly raised up my hand to brush his cheek. "Go kill that blondie bitch. And kill Kenny for me." By this point, as Eren sobbed over me, holding my head in his hands, I had basically accepted death. End of the line. 

"Levi, I- I cant.." Eren sniffed.

"Do it." I said. "I don't have time to give you a Shia LaBeouf speech. Just go. Eren. Just go."

Another shot. This one was close. Why were those two after us? Why are there doppelgängers? Why is everyone a psycho? How does this fucking made sense? The answer- it doesn't. It didn't need to. Death was upon me. Caught me in the end. 

I'm coming, Petra.

That's when my head was dropped and I hit the grass, looking up, staring at a cloudy night sky, barely able to make out a single star. I turned my head to de Eren turned around, every muscle in his body clenched, looking ready to explode. He was shaking again. Visibly fuming. Dr. Lenz and Dr. Y were about 20 feet from us, knives and shotgun in hand. Eren shoved his thumb in his mouth.

"Eren, don't!" I cried. "They have a- nngh..." My breath hitched in my throat with the pain that came with moving. Eren gave me one last fuming look before biting down so hard that blood spurted from his skin and he practically exploded into corpse form and took off running, sprinting even, straight at Y and Krista.

"Krista!" Y cried, blasting another shot into the night, hitting her target and literally blowing off Eren's arm. I screamed, half in terror and the other in pain. I'm the worst guardian fucking EVER if I allowed Eren to almost get shot THREE TIMES, and he got hit the third! But that didn't stop him. He simply roared, running at full speed, leftover muscle and ligaments flopping from his stub. He lost his arm. HE LOST HIS ARM. Is that shit going to regenerate? Is he armless? Is he even going to survive that?

Eren pounced, tearing apart Dr. Y's neck followed by Krista's scream. Oh god. He's eating her. He tore out her neck, spat out her throat, and tore off get bottom jaw with his face. He was bloody. Krista, still screaming, ran over and began stabbing him repeatedly. I couldn't even scream. I could only watch the blood flow. That's when something knocked me in the head and I blacked out.

 

"His own mother's funeral...didn't even cry..."

"So quiet. There's something wrong with him."

"He's evil. I know it. Just look at him."

"What kind of a five year old is he?"

I simply stood in the snow, in my rags, among all the adults attending my mother's funeral. I was wise beyond my years, but still couldn't understand anything they were saying. I knew that it wasn't good. Were they criticizing my mother? Are they badmouthing her for dying? Even they should know that it wasn't her fault. She had AIDS. 

"That's what she gets for being a whore."

"Damn straight. Fucking disgusting."

"Bitch had to make money SOMEhow. God knows she wasn't good for anything else."

I don't know what a whore or a bitch is. I'm guessing that they aren't good things, either. I'm not going to ask. Mama always told me not to ask strangers questions.

I hugged myself in the bitter cold, wrapped in my mother's shawl, freezing to death.

"Who's that kid going to live with?"

"I'm not taking him. Ain't no son of a whore in my house."

"He's no good. Look at that runt. I say we let him die."

Are they talking about my mother again? It wasn't her fault! They're grown ups, they should know that. They must be pretty dumb grown ups. 

I turned around with a stomp to shout at all the adults. "It- it- it was- was- wasn't her fa- fa- fault!" I shouted, my speech impediment embarrassing me yet again.

"Who do you think you're talking to, boy?" A tall man snapped. "Your mother was a worthless whore, of course it was her fault!" Suddenly, he mercilessly tore off my mother's shawl, leaving me freezing in the newly fallen snow. He tore it in half and stomped on it.

"This ugly rag should have gone with her, along with you, you stuttering failed abortion!"

"Y'all shut up." A gun cocked. All heads turned to the noise, showing a tall, skinny man with a hat covering half his face. He had a gun pointed at the man stepping all over my mother's shawl. "It ain't the boy's fault you didn't get no money."

"It's all the boy's fault! He got all the money!"

"There wasn't much money in the first place." The man grinned. "And as next in line to the throne of this boy's parenting, that money goes to me until he comes of age." He turned to me. "You're Levi, right? Atsuka's boy?"

"Ye- ye- yessir."

"I'm your uncle Kenny. You're gonna live with me from now on, ok?"

"O-Ok."


	10. Confession

Black. Pitch black. 

The mixing in of grays.

The world is moving.

Coming to.

"Levi...Levi!" Eren's voice faded in and out as faint pictures of his face from a fish-eye view flashed through the grays.

Fading grays.

Pitch black. 

Silence.

...

The grays again.

"Keep breathing, Levi, keep breathing..." 

"He owes me double...you hear me Levi? You owe me double!"

Voices. 

Too tired to care who they are anymore. 

Darkness slipping into my mind, like a rape drug into an unsuspecting woman's drink.

Oh-so-casually.

Pitch black.

 

I shot bolt upright in a place unknown, panting like a dog. The world around me formed as I frantically whipped my head around and wipes sweat from my brow. Sweat... Oh shit, I'm drenched. I had broken out in a cold sweat as I slept in this- what even is this? I felt around on a rough cot-like mat, still looking around. Where the hell am l?

"Hello?" I called into the darkness; like a dolphin I felt my voice bounce back to me. "Eren? Historia? Anyone?" Absolutely nothing. 

The air was freezing. Maybe it was just my sweating. I began getting rapidly colder- I wasn't even wearing a shirt. I couldn't see a thing through the darkness, the world around me painted a shade darker than the night. Touching myself resulted in pain; there terrible stabs in my chest and my stomach muscles were sore like a regular man's after three hours of working out. My legs were shaky, unable to hold me as I tried to stand up on my cot-mat. Listening hard, I could hear the sounds of the night.

Crickets.

Frogs.

... 

Breathing.

Breathing!

It was soft, sweet, sound asleep. I couldn't tell if it was male or female. Instantly I felt around for the body, finding nothing but a dirty concrete floor that left me recoiling in horror. "Hello?" I whispered. "Hey, wake up!" Finally my hands felt a warm body- a bare back laid on its side. I couldn't tell who it was as I felt their warm skin. Unintentionally I began running my hands all over the back, washing my cold hands over their soft, soft skin. Until I felt something. A scar. A scar as if from a puncture wound. A wide one.

A knife.

My mind flashed back to Eren tearing out the throat of Dr. Y. Blood. Organs. Enough to make a grown man sick. Krista jumping in. Stabbing him.

I felt around more and more, finding more wounds and scars.

This is Eren.

Eren's alive.

"E-Eren?" I whispered shakily, crawling closer to him as I slid my hand onto his neck to feel his pulse- perfectly beating. "Eren? Wake up." I gently shook him, rocking him back and forth, whispering endlessly until I got a response. 

Eren stirred uneasily, breathing growing shaky. Carefully, he rolled into his back so that I was kneeling over him. He shivered and shook as his eyes darted around trying to find light in the darkness.

"Hello?" He gasped. "Levi?"

"Eren." I responded in a sigh. "Thank god."

"Levi..." His voice broke. "Where are you?" I touched his neck. 

"I'm right here."

"Where...where are we?" He whispered.

"I don't know." I said reluctantly. "But we'll get out of here. I promise."

"Levi..." Eren began crying quietly, his warm tears slipping into his brown hair and disappearing. "I'm...I'm so cold..." 

"Shh, come here." I pulled him up, hugging him and comforting him like a two year old. I rubbed his back, trying to warm him up. He sniffled into my shoulder as I held him. 

"Le-Levi..." Eren whispered again, lifting his head to face me. I could just barely make out his eyes. "I'll never forgive you for what you did to my mom." I didn't say anything as Eren paused and let the tears flow again. "But...but I...I'm in love with you." Despite knowing that the whole time, the words still hit me like a train at full speed. The wind was knocked out of me. I was unable to respond. All I could do was thank god that it was too dark for Eren to see how pale I went. Why did it hit me so hard? I knew he loved me. I knew it all along. It wasn't much of a secret, really. I just treated it like a joke. But I guess...I guess I just didn't expect it. "Levi?" Eren asked shakily. He suddenly put a hand on my shoulder and gripped me tight. "I love you."

"Y-Yeah..." I said, letting myself grow a small smile as my hand found it's way to Eren's tear streaked cheek. I let those words escape from my lips as I faced what I denied for so long. "I love you, too."

"Did...did you just..." Eren whispered shakily. "Are...are you lying to me?"

"Eren." I insisted. "I love you."

Suddenly there were warm, wet lips on mine, kissing me. I could taste his tears on his lips. I didn't hesitate to kiss back as I forced my mouth on his, kissing with everything I had held back from him. I rewarded my lips with every moment they begged, screamed even, to kiss Eren. I didn't wait or hesitate to slip my tongue into his mouth. I didn't carefully lick his bottom lip or gently nudge for entrance- I simply went full-blown as I pushed my tongue into his mouth, swapping saliva as he gasped a little in my mouth in surprise by my sudden gesture. 

"Le-Levi..." Eren shuddered as I gripped his back muscles. I stopped, trying to find his eyes in the darkness. "N-No...keep going..."

I kept going, my hands finding their way to grip the back of his neck and the hair on the back of his head. He hugged me tight, his hands feeling everywhere they could, daring to brush the waistband of my underwear. He eventually was confident enough to let his tongue enter my mouth, fighting with my tongue for dominance. He tasted like peppermint and vanilla.

I lost balance at some point and collapsed onto my cot-mat, Eren below me, gasping for air between kisses. He held me so tight that I had to lay on my side to keep going. "Er...en..." I panted as Eren began getting more into it, humming quiet noises and biting my lip. It was when he moaned a little and dug his nails into my back that I tried to stop. "Eren..." I panted.

"Nngh..." He continued kissing.

"Eren." I breathed firmly. "We have to get out of here."

"Then just hold me." He looked up, meeting my eyes though I could not see his face. "Please... Just for a moment."

I obeyed, cooling off after our scene, holding him close to my chest. He breathed softly, my saliva still fresh on his lips. I cuddled him as our heat faded and was replaced by the steady chill of the room we were in. He curled into my arms and shivered when the cold slipped beneath his skin and goosebumps arose on his shoulders. I held him tighter, concentrating on passing my body heat to him, thinking only of Eren. Eren. Eren. Eren.

"Eren..." I hummed softly, not much trying to snag his attention, but simply to feel his name on my tongue, to savor the taste of that familiar word. "Eren..."

"Levi." He mumbled in response, shifting so that our noses touched as he pressed his forehead on mine, Eskimo-kissing me. I smiled a bit and chuckled as I kissed his lips.

"I don't want to get up." Eren yawned. "I want to stay here."

"For all we know, 'here' could be a death trap." I said.

"Touché." Eren agreed, kissing my upper lip and slowly sitting up. I sat up with him, slipping my hands off his body for the first time that night. Eren stood up, waving his hands in the darkness, kicking around and fumbling for a light switch or a doorknob until finally, Eren cried in victory.

"Ha HA!" He cheered, jiggling open a doorknob into a room dimly lit by moonlight. "Dammit." He muttered.

"It's a start." I said, trying to stand but falling flat on my face from my wobbly knees. With a punch to the face from my own fist my body was back in line as I followed Eren into the next room. As we walked barefoot through a room lit only by one moonlit window, Eren visibly shivered.

"Levi." He said suddenly.

"Mm?"

"Did you...did you mean what you said?" Eren slowly stopped to look at his feet as he wiggled his toes. I turned back to him, about ten feet ahead of him. "Do you really love me?"

"Why would you think otherwise?" I questioned.

"I...I just don't think that you could love me."

"If you want me to list off every reason why I love you, I can do that." I said. "But we really need to focus. We've sidetracked too much from our original plans. We need to find our people."

"What are we supposed to do after that?" Eren asked. "Where are we supposed to go?"

"We'll figure it out."

"But-"

"We'll figure it out." The second time I said it I was firmer, leading Eren to nod and keep moving. The air was as cold as before, relentlessly sucking the heat from us both. From the day our journey began, only two weeks ago, winter had slowly begun to settle in, taking the place of late fall as the year began to die. It was early November in Kentucky, our current location. Winter, like a young child, sang her winds with all her heart and danced on the tips of her toes, spreading her chilled aura wherever she went. In the morning, after her nights rest, frost spread across the earth of which she rested. She laughed and giggled blasts of cold air as she tickled her hands up the branches of trees, watching the leaves shrivel and fall, singing as she blew them away. She created a miserable climate for two men without shirts, but she was only as innocent as a flower, not even noticing as she began to play up north.

North, to the icebox known as Detroit. Certainly by the time we arrive there winter will have created an icy cold wonderland for her to play in. As soon as we get there and get our people, we'll head right back down to Georgia. Florida, even. Yeah. Florida.

If we even make it.

Eren's right- what are we going to do? Will we stick together? Will we go our separate ways?

What if we never see each other again?

No.

"Eren." I broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"To answer your question, I'm staying with you." I said, turning to him. "I'm not going to leave you once I kill who I'm after. So you'd better not leave me." Eren lit a smile like a match, the warmth bursting to life on his face. Yet, like all things, it burned out when he slammed straight into a dead body hanging from the ceiling.

"UAAAAAAGH!!" He cried, stumbling backwards and falling flat on his ass.

"Eren, calm down!" I barked quickly, stepping toward the swinging, bloody body, stopping it to inspect it. As Eren panted on the floor, hand resting over his heart, I found that the body was the body of Dr. Y. Her entrails had been torn out and disappeared from her body, leaving only stray prices of organs and small intestine in a cold body crusted in dried blood. On the side of her head, hanging on the few ligaments left in her neck which Eren had missed, was a note nailed into her brain. I easily tore out the bloody nail and took the surprisingly clean note.

"Dear Shorty and Bitchface-" I read aloud, frowning.

"Haha!" Eren laughed. "So I'm not the only one who calls you 'shorty'!"

"Shut up, 'bitchface'." I grinned. Normally, I would have slapped him for that, but since I had just finished a hot make out session with him, and I was just so in love with him, I couldn't help but crack a smile. I unfolded the paper more and began reading. "Hey assholes! So, nice job killing off our clones, haha! I guess I should explain. Krista and Dr. Y are the originals. They're mad scientists, lol, what losers! Anyway, they managed to clone themselves, and viola! Anyway, since we escaped they've been trying to kill us and they're CONSTANTLY capturing new people to murder so, just to piss them off, I saved shorty! Anyway, shorty, if Bitchface hasn't told you yet, a lot happened while you were passed out." I looked to Eren, who was completely pale. "Eren?"

"I'll...I'll let her explain it." Eren mumbled.

"He went up the hill to their house to try and get you help since he was SOOOOO scared that you would die! Aww, how sweet! NOT." I snorted laughter. "Seriously, Eren?"

"Shut up." Eren blushed.

"Ahem." I prepared to begin reading again. "Anyway, as punishment for going to them first, I planted a wee black cube in your chest! That's another invention by the bitches. It's REAAAALY COLD!!! Anyway, Eren volunteered to become a lab rat for the psychos in exchange for your life. Then they made an attempt on his life when you came running and you got shot. Dumbass.

Lalala, anyway, as our thank-you gift for saving your life twice, shorty, we took all your weapons, supplies, and clothes! You can call us even ;)" I glared at the page. "What?!"

"They did what?!" Eren was just as surprised as I was, balling his fists. I shook my head and continued.

"We went to the beach where it's warmer in my jeep! I assume you have some people to find, huh? Aaaanyway, happy traveling! See you never! Love, Historia and Ymir. P.S. Where you are now? Why, our burrow in Kentucky! As a little present, we left you our other car, the Hyundai! It has some oil and a couple gas refills in the back. I was feeling generous. You can always count on Deus ex Machina!"

"That'll at least keep us warm." Eren muttered as I crumpled up the paper and threw it to the floor.

"It'll also keep us going strong until we hit Detroit." I added. "But now we need clothes, coats, food and water, guns, knives-"

"We can make it." Eren interrupted me as I began to spiral. I turned to look at him as I dropped what I was saying, only to find him smiling. It was weak. It was wry. But it was a smile. It was a beautiful, toothy, ear to ear grin. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how he could smile when everything we had was just taken from us, including the shirts on our backs. He shouldn't have had anything left in him, not a single ounce of strength. He shouldn't have had any fight left, much less a smile.

This world is cruel. This world cares not for your happiness, nor your well being. This world is merciless, always crushing us. Always adding another burden. Our world is ending as the human population dwindles away and is replaced with hostile, flesh-eating monsters lurking just outside our door. This world takes those we love from us, by death or by the hand of one just like us. This world has taken everything I've ever loved. It's taken Erwin, Petra, Kenny, Isabel and Farlan. Pretty soon, it'll take Eren from me, too. 

No, actually. This world will never take Eren from me. Not because I won't let it, but because Eren won't let it. Eren is a fighter. He's a strong kid. He'll take on any challenge. He'll take on the world.

He's already one step ahead, showing up the world with a smile.

Looking at him, I broke out into a smile myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, sorry this took so long to get out. Please leave your criticism!


	11. Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN A DAY, BABY!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!
> 
> I don't know, I had a FANTASTIC writing burst, writing a whole chapter in just one day, and ANOTHER in less than six hours, whereas it usually takes two days to complete one chapter!
> 
> I'm happy :)

Days passed in the small Hyundai as we made our way north, and we had only hit Illinois by this time. We made our way so slowly because we frequently ran into mobs of corpses, hollow cars smashed in wrecks, bloody traffic jams of those who had tried to escape, only to be eaten alive eventually. We took multiple detours, finding our way since our car was not off-road. We got lost many times, veering off course and ending up somewhere off-course, i. e., Illinois. 

Words were rarely exchanged in the early and late hours, and very few in the clouded hours of daylight. I usually drove, simply because I couldn't stand to be bored in a car as boring as ours. Every now and then I would ask Eren to hand me the paper map or to give me the time, but beyond that, we didn't much speak. Eren kept himself busy by tracing his fingertips along the window and counting corpses we passed on the road. Occasionally he would mutter a milestone number like 100 or 200, and I would grunt a 'hmm'.

We stopped only for three things- if one of us has to take a shit, if we need to get food out of the back, or if we ran out of gas. We drove nonstop from a full to empty tank, and only when the car sputtered and halted in the road did one of us pull on the small blanket and trudge out to the trunk and get the gas refill. We were left with three full tank fills, and we had used one in a time of six days. The tank was half electrical, and since it was all charged up, we ran on a zero gas tank for two days. The car also burned gas RIDICULOUSLY slow, one of the best benefits we could have ever hoped for. The In those six days we had achieved robbing dead bodies for their clothes and abandoned camps for their food and water. When we came upon a live camp, we would rob them for their medicine and food, and some blankets if we could. Though it didn't faze me, it clearly disturbed Eren and it would be hours before the look of guilt was wiped from his face.

Days came and went like the winds against our dashboard. Even as we continued to get lost, the hours passed without the slightest trace of frustration. It was simply a matter of driving in silence, breathing in time to the hum of the half-electric engine and the vibration of rubber tires against smooth concrete and bumpy asphalt. Silence was beautiful, accompanied by Eren's soft breath through his nose, giving me time to ponder pointless things like existence and the instinct of hatred. Silence, today, was broken as Eren did something unusual.

"Do you still sing of the mountain bed we made of limbs and leaves," In the early hours of the morning, long before the sun had risen, before Eren had sat up with a blanket on his lap, Eren sang. It wasn't a question of wether or not he was awake or not, for he spoke clearly, but why he hadn't sat up to sing, or rather yet, why he sang at all. Before I had the time to question him after the vibrations of his voice died off, he sang the next line of the song. "Do you still sigh there near the sky where the holly berry bleeds," 

His voice was beautiful, more beautiful than it had ever sounded. His voice was smooth and silky, flowing like milk. It wasn't exactly deep, yet not femininely high. His voice wasn't raspy and didn't ring like the opera, yet he held notes for what seemed to be perfection. I hadn't ever heard the poetic words of the song he sang. I could tell, however, that there was an instrumental in his head when he took long pauses inbetween lines. The only instruments here were the steady hum of the engine and the whooshing of the wind screaming past our windows, muffled by the glass force field.

"She laughed as we covered her over with leaves, face, breasts, hips and thighs." Eren turned over in his seat to face the roof of the car, his eyes still closed as his voice flooded the enclosed space we shared. "She smiled when I said the leaves were just the color of her eyes," Had he made the song up himself? Was he really that artistic? I held back my questions as I continued driving, eagerly hanging onto every word. "Rosin smells and turpentine smells from eucalyptus and pine, bitter tastes of twigs we chewed where tangled wood vines twine, trees held us in on all four sides so thick we could not see, we could not see any wrong in her, and she saw none in me," I turned to look at his face as he finished the gorgeous verse to see tears drip down his face. He was singing of something long gone, long lost and long loved. Who did he sing to? Who did he sing of? I didn't really care at this point, I just wanted him to further paint the picture of a forest bed in my head. "Her arm was brown against the ground, her cheeks part of the sky," Eren started up again, voice hinting with tears. "As your fingers played with grassy moss, and limber you did lie, your stomach moved beneath your shirt and your knees were in the air, her feet played games with mountain roots, as she lay thinking there," Finishing another verse, Eren sat up without bothering to lift his seat with him. He wiped his cheeks and gripped the dashboard, taking in shaky breaths. "Below us the trees grew clumps of trees, raised families of trees, and they, as proud as we tossed their heads in the wind and flung good seeds away, the sun was hot and the sun was bright down in the valley below, where people starved and hungry for life so empty come and go," His voice suddenly grew louder but with its same milky texture as he closed his eyes and tried to shake the tears from his voice. "There in the shade and hid from the sun we freed our minds and learned, our greatest reason for being here, our bodies moved and burned, there on our mountain bed of leaves we learned life’s reason why, the People laugh and love and dream, they fight, they hate to die," 

Eren broke into a crying fit, like a record scratch in the middle of a song as he collapsed onto the dashboard, unable to suck his tears back. He sobbed quietly, in a fit of love and mourning. Again and again he would try to sit up and sing again, only to break and cry again. I didn't dare to touch him. Finally Eren pulled himself together, sucked his lips into his lungs and tried again.

"The smell of her hair I know is still there, if most of our leaves are blown, our words still ring in the brush and the trees were singing seeds are sown, her shape and form is dim, but plain, there on our mountain bed, I see our lives were brightest where you laughed and laid your head,

"I learned the reason why man must work and how to dream big dreams, to conquer time and space and fight the rivers and the seas, I sing here filled with my emptiness now and look at city and land, And I know why farms and cities are built by hot, warm, nervous hands, 

"I pray that we'll never be forced apart, I pray that you'll always stay, though we're never to see her again, I'll never let any earth, heaven or hell to take you away, this agony that dares blaze bright in us and every thought of her, will change us both for years to come, remind us of what we once were," by this time Eren's eyes opened, the trace of tears still locked on his face. He ceased to cry and sang calmly, a heavy burden of sorrow on his back.

"All this day long we linger here and on in through the night, my greeds, desires, my cravings, hopes, my dreams inside me fight, our loneliness won't heal, our emptiness yet to fill, still we walk above all pain, back to the beds we sleep in now, to dream of her warm embrace." Eren finished, taking a deep breath without any trace of a shudder. I had too many questions- I couldn't pick one to ask. I simply looked straight ahead with my regular cold look and complimented him.

"Your voice is beautiful." I told him. 

"Is it?" He replied, not really a question but not a statement either. Some cross that he used as a response.

"Is that your song?" I asked.

"My sisters and mine, yeah."

"It's beautiful."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for just bursting into song like that."

"Please, don't be. Please don't cry, either."

"Does it upset you?"

"It hurts to watch." I answered honestly, turning to look at him. He was facing forward with my face copied on his, a cold, unfeeling act plastered in front of true emotion, which endlessly refused to show. Minutes passed in silence until finally, I found the courage that I somehow lacked to ask about his tearjerking song.

"Tell me about it."

"Huh?"

"Your song. Who's it for? Who is 'we'?"

"Hmm." Eren hummed with a returning sorrow as he straightened his back and lifted his seat to buckle his seatbelt again. "I don't think you'd want to hear it."

"I'm the one who asked, right? Go on, tell me." I insisted, being returned with Eren's sigh.

"Before my mom was killed, and before my dad went crazy, mom used to take my sister, Mikasa and me up on the mountain to play. We always made a little bed up there to rest and talk on. After you killed my mother, my sister and I were basically alone, living in fear from our father." Eren began, already stabbing me right in the feels. "My sister and I lost our beds when he burned down the house, so we slept together, huddled on a mat. Every week or so he would take her from the mat in the middle of the night. She never really fought, always too tired since we had no food. I always tried to fight with everything I had, but it was never enough. I was always shit out, banging on the door, screaming for help and begging him not to hurt my little sister. He would...do things to her. Bad things. If she ever screamed, he would cut her skin open and scold her. Then...one night...she... he...ulp." Eren gagged, vomiting in his mouth and reluctantly forcing it back down, coughing and hacking. I thumped his back. 

"You okay?" 

"Mm." Eren grunted, beginning again. "Anyway, he cut her up real bad one night. She had punched him in the eye, so he cut hers out. There was blood everywhere...I couldn't stop screaming...I vomited everywhere...he called 911 and lied, saying that she had been attacked by a rapist. She wears a patch to this day. A-Anyway, he carved 'bad girl' into her forehead when we got home. That night we ran away in the middle of winter. We went straight to the mountain where mom was buried and never looked back. When we were there, as we huddled together, we were sure we were going to die. We made up a song together for our mom, remembering our lives before they were destroyed. We promised never to leave each other, and we would find each other no matter what.

"Needless to say, we never saw dad again. We made our way to an orphanage where we told them everything that happened. For years, Mikasa refused to speak and she spent a lot of time under intense therapy and inpatient care at Trost Mental Institution. Fuckin' hellhole. The first words Mikasa ever spoke was the first line to our song. I couldn't stop crying and hugging her. Mikasa and I recovered over time in the orphanage, Zhiganshina Children's Home. We stayed together every day, usually taking care of our bullied best friend, Armin. And now...I'm looking for them.

"Mikasa really never did make a full recovery. She freezes up when anyone says 'dad'. She'll never heal from that damage. I won't, either." Eren finally finished, leaving me feeling like shit.

"I'm so fucking sorry." I muttered. "I owe you and your sister a childhood, a mother, and your sister a mentality and an eye."

"I know that." Eren sighed. "Saying it won't help."

"Fuck." I slammed the brakes, slamming my head on the steering wheel and trying not to cry. "I'm never going to stop being sorry." It was the first time I had ever stopped that car for anything as stupid as tears. There was a long pause as I began to cry, just letting a few tears slip and splash my stolen jeans a size too big. Eren simply watched me draw in shuddering breaths and push out quiet sniffles. 

"Then don't." He touched my back after what seemed like an eternity. "Regret it forever."

"You know, Eren, you SUCK at making someone feel better." I snapped.

"I'm not trying to make you feel better." Eren shrugged. "Look, I'm never going to forgive you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I got it." I rolled my wet eyes.

"Hey." Eren carefully took a gentle fistful of my undercut and lifted my head, turning my head to his, resting his hand on my cheek. He didn't say something witty or cute to finish it off; his next words were hidden in a kiss. I held his head and his neck as I kissed back, muttering an 'I love you' into his mouth. He mumbled an 'I love you, too' as we continued, the dawn breaking against our skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song was edited by me- the original is a song called Remember The Mountain Bed by billy Bragg and wilco. I highly re commend it- it's fucking fantastic.


	12. Girl and a baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, new electronics restrictions :(

Not only a day later we ran out of gas. "Fuck." I muttered as the car wheezed to the stop. "I'll get out and so it. Brace yourself, Eren." Eren obeyed, flopping backwards and tucking into a ball underneath his blanket. I sucked in a breath and before I had the chance to chicken out, I swung open the door and jumped outside, slamming the door shut to protect Eren. The cold air hit me like a wall with its chill. I felt so cold- like a corpse. It seemed like my body heat gave up on me. Nonetheless I quickly ran as fast as my clompy-12-sizes-too-big shoes would allow to the trunk, which I swung open as fast as I could. I snatched a gas refill and slammed the trunk shut, just barely saving my fingers (as cold as they were, they probably would have fallen right off). Before I had a chance to dash back into the safety of the heated car, I was stopped by a shivering, young voice.

"M-Mister...p-p-please..." The voice of a little girl wheezed. I whipped around to see a small girl, looking only seven years old, literally CRAWLING toward me. I drew my gun, assuming that she was a corpse.

"N-No!" She squeaked weakly. "P-Please...help us..." 

"Us?" I questioned fiercely. The girl, complexion pale blue, sat up to reveal an infant she kept hidden in her shirt. Jesus, that's why she was crawling. She has a baby. Goddamnit, that's a fucking BABY. I can't kill a baby. Fuck, I can't kill a little girl, either!

"P-Please...!" The girl wailed weakly. "We...we're s-s-so c-c-cold...s-so...h-hu-hungry..."

I stared at her as she laid back down, hugging the baby right. I watched her frozen brown hair make her back shiver as she began to cry in the cold. I don't want to take responsibility for anyone else. We don't have all that much food. They'll be burdens. Plus, we're going north to do dirty work. I'm not about to worry about the whereabouts of a little girl, much less a troublesome infant. Yet...it's a kid. All alone. With a baby in her arms. As inhuman as I seem, I have my soft side.

With all my strength, I trudged over to her and pulled her into my arms. It was like lifting a seventy-pound block of ice. The girl gasped and then hugged into my warmth, curling her bare toes into the sole of her foot. I forced the back door open to shove them inside, hearing the girl sigh at the warmth. I quickly filled up the tank and jumped into the front seat to find Eren already cradling the infant, trying desperately to warm it, while the girl panted thank you after thank you as she curled up in Eren's blanket.

"Levi?" Eren looked at me for an explanation.

"They're a couple of kids. What was I supposed to do?" I responded, warming my hands.

"One kid. One baby." Eren corrected me. 

"What's your name?" I turned to the girl.

"Sasha." She beamed. "That's my baby brother, Connie."

"Where are your parents? How long have you been alone?" 

"Mommy and daddy turned into monsters." She whimpered. "A big tall grown up and his friends adopted us. But...they left."

"When."

"When it got cold." Sasha said reluctantly. "They told us to wait for twenty minutes while they went back south. I think the mean lady told him to."

"Mean lady?"

"Miss Leonhardt." Sasha answered, as if I knew what that meant. I decided not to ask any more questions.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Levi. This is my boyfriend, Eren."

"You're short."

"I'm aware." I grumbled as Eren laughed. The baby had relaxed and was now sleeping in Eren's arms.

"Can I call you daddy?"

"Kid, I'm not your dad. Eren's not your dad. Don't expect to stay with us forever, okay?" I told Sasha. "We'll take care of you until we figure out what to do with you."

"But...will you protect us from the monsters?"

"Yes." Eren snatched her hand suddenly. "We promise, you'll be safe. Your brother, too." A smile lit up the girl's face, making the car ten times warmer. I turned back around and blasted off down the highway. Eren resumed counting corpses. 

Things were peaceful.

Until ten minutes later when Sasha piped up again. 

"Wanna play a game?" She asked cheerfully.

"The quiet game." I answered.

"If I win, you're getting me a baked potato!" She exploded with happiness.

"Kid, you'll be lucky to get dinner tonight. I wouldn't get your hopes up." I snorted.

"Uh-uh! Baked potato!" She insisted.

"Kiss the potato goodbye, Sasha." I shook my head. Sasha puffed up her cheeks and frowned childishly.

"If you don't give me a baked potato, I'm gonna scream!" Sasha threatened.

"Uh huh, and I'll throw you right back in the cold." I shot back.

"Grrr!" Sasha tried to be intimidating, right before loudly gasping a big breath and screaming out: "POTATOPOTATOPOTATOPOTATOPOTATO!!!"

"Shut UP!" I roared, but to no avail. The baby began to scream. Eren finally piped up.

"Sasha- sasha! Come on, let's play a different game." Eren touched my shoulder to calm me down as the fuming little girl perked up.

"Yeah? Like what?" She asked. 

"Well, we can have a funny face contest!" Eren suggested, gently kissing the crying infant back into submission.

"Will you get me a baked potato?" She asked hopefully.

"Maybe." Eren said. "But in the meantime, I'll make you feel like a baked potato. You can have the nice, warm front seat and play the quiet game with Levi." Eren smiled. 

"And what about if I win the quiet game?" She folded her arms and closed her eyes in a pout.

"Then you can play the quiet game again." I chimed in. "If you win three times in a row, I'll tell you a story."

"STORY!" She cheered. 

"Shh." I shushed her.

And so, Eren turned around and began silently making funny faces while rocking the baby. Sasha giggled sweetly each time, remembering to keep quiet, and Eren returning each laugh. What surprised me was that I didn't find it annoying. Calm, sweet, genuine giggling was nice background noise as no one bothered me. Eventually, Eren let Sasha win, quietly switching back to the backseat as Sasha excitedly climbed into the front seat. She sighed loudly at the warmth pouring through the vents.

"Ready to play?" She smiled.

"Mmhm." I nodded, looking away from the road to affectionately boop her nose and smile. "3, 2, 1-"

"STOP!!" Eren screamed suddenly. On instinct I slammed the brakes and smashed into the steering wheel, barely looking up in time to see an entire herd of corpses climbing out of overturned cars and making their way to our car. There was a solid wall of cars in front of us.

"Jesus, Eren!" I hissed at him.

"Levi, turn around." Eren panted quickly. 

"What?"

"TURN AROUND!" Eren shouted. I noticed what was happening to him. His skin graying. Rapid weight loss. He wasn't even touching his thumb. "F-Fuck!" He looked at himself I just barely had time to take the baby from him before he leapt out of the car.

"Eren!" I exclaimed, trying to grab his shirt before he whipped around, a look of terror in his face as his mind was physically taken from him. He shut himself out of the car just in time before he went full corpse... and tried to attack us.

He pounded on the windows. He roared and growled. I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but I sure as hell wasn't about to get bitten. I swerved the car around, running over Eren's feet as I sped at full speed away from him.

"Levi, what's going-"

"I don't know, Sasha." I snapped. "Get Connie." She snatched the baby from the backseat and buckled her seatbelt. Eren was running after us at full speed. I watched him slow down until he suddenly grabbed his own head and slammed it into the asphalt. At that moment, I could see as he returned to his natural form. I leapt out of the car, running to his side.

"Eren!" I shouted as he curled up in the cold. He groaned as I neared him. I snatched the back of his head and whipped his face up to mine, a loaded pistol pressed to his forehead. "What the fuck was that."

"What the fuck is this?" Eren snapped.

"I love you, Eren, but I'll shoot you dead if you don't tell me what the fuck that was." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"I don't know!"

"Figure it out or I swear to god I'll leave you here!" I yelled in his face. "I'm not about to let you endanger me or a couple of kids."

"I don't know what it was!" Eren pleaded. "It happened out of nowhere! I couldn't control it!"

I stared him in the eye. He was telling the truth. "Learn to control it. If you don't, count on a bullet to the brain. If you don't catch yourself in time, boom, you're dead." I dropped him, stomping back through the cold. 

"I thought you loved me."

"I do." I turned to look at him. "But I'll kill you if I have to."


	13. Michigan's Consequence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a little short, I'm busy, yknow?

Things were uneasy for an entire seven hours. I glared at the road ahead of me, furiously gripping the steering wheel as I maneuvered around the corpses and cars. Sasha didn't even mention the quiet game- she only played it with herself. Not a word was heard from her as she quietly snuggled the infant Connie. Connie rarely cried- there were a few bouts of wailing here and there, but they were ultimately silenced by Sasha as she whispered a lullaby and kissed his forehead. As for Eren, he sat silently in the back seat, curled up for warmth, nursing the bloody blow he took to the head. He dared not to speak, too overwhelmed and angry at what had happened. For seven hours, from dawn unto dusk, we pressed forward in silence. 

The silence was broken when, seven hours later, I uttered one word- one single word -that ultimately made us decide. "Michigan." I muttered as I spotted the sign, iced over, worn and tattered, yet as clear as could be. 'Welcome to Michigan!' It beamed, fading in the ruined light of the zombie apocalypse. Yet, that sign was all I needed. Suddenly, involuntarily, a smile was slapped on my face and an invisible force lifted my head. "Michigan...Michigan!" I cried, stopping the car to twist around to Eren.

"Eren!" I beamed. "Michigan!"

"Michigan?" Eren asked in disbelief.

I nodded, bliss forming in my eyes. "Michigan."

"Michigan?" Sasha asked.

Without even thinking I snatched her tiny hand. "Michigan." A big smile spread across her face. 

"Hooray for Michigan!" She proclaimed, pumping a fist and cheering. Eren and I cheered with her, a moment of happiness lighting up the car. Even the baby giggled. Was it beautiful? Not exactly. Was it euphoria? Definitely not. It was a small pang of happiness, indicating the last leg of our journey. If we knew then what we know now, we'd have realized that it was only the beginning of a long journey and a long, terrible winter.

 

"Jeez." Eren mumbled under his breath, looking at scorched buildings, victims of a fire long put out. Was it a riot? An accident in the confusion and frenzy of the end of the world? There were half-eaten dead bodies strewn here and there, intestines strung like party decorations on cars and scraps of metal. This wasn't an unusual sight. In fact, we had seen much worse. However, it affected Eren more now. As the children slept in the backseat, he became impatient. He shifted constantly, always looking for something to occupy his attention. I started to notice him holding his breath and tightening his stomach muscles. 

"You ok?" I questioned, quite bored myself. I didn't look at him. No words had been spoken since the burst of light that was Michigan. 

"Nngh." Eren grunted, as if I knew what that meant. I rolled my eyes.

"English, please." I said.

"Fine." Eren replied, a groan creeping into his voice. "I'm fi- uurgh..." Eren hugged his stomach and doubled over in his seat, kissing his knees. 

"Eren?" I peered over, slightly concerned.

"I'd- ulp- I'd prefer not to ta- talk, please...guhh...mmngh..." He grunted in pain. I didn't make him talk. I only reached over and rubbed his back. Suddenly he gasped. 

"Levi." He wheezed. "It's happening." Instinctively I slammed the brakes as he tried to get out of the car. He couldn't leap out like before- he barely had enough strength to tumble and fall out. I slammed the door and locked it, quickly driving a safe distance from him as a blast of cold air chilled the car. I slipped my gun out and carefully watched. I couldn't tell if he was a corpse or not. He lay in a ball, twitching and shivering. He looked like a dying human. 

Wait...

Shit.

I jumped out of the car after him, leaving my gun, dropping to my knees and skidding on the frozen asphalt to him. I quickly pulled his head in my arms, analyzing him. His condition was rapidly worsening. I didn't even know what it was. But he wasn't a corpse. He was dying.

And if he dies, he becomes a corpse.

Will he be able to change back?

"Eren?" I lifted his while body into my lap and hugged his shivering, groaning ball of a body. He was weeping. "Eren, what's going on?"

"Levi...it hurts..." Eren whispered against my neck. Even his breath was cold. 

"Are you going to turn?" I asked again.

"I...aaah...nngh..." Eren moaned. Suddenly he went limp and his forced, warm breath stilled. My heart skipped a beat. 

"Fuck." I hissed as I quickly laid him on the ground, pounding his chest, manually pumping his heart, constantly muttering curses as I did. "Shit, shit, shit, shit SHIT!" I shouted. "What in fuck's name is happening?!" I continued to preform *cough cough* "cpr" that I hadn't preformed even once beforehand. Eren had clearly died in my arms. 

"But he's a corpse, he can't die! Was he dead all along? Why is he dying now?! No, no, no! Fuck!" My mind was bombarded, assaulted with feverish thoughts of terror. I refused to let tears pool in my eyes as I shut them tight, giving up and hugging Eren's body in my arms, one final embrace.

I didn't even notice as his body became lighter, and lighter, and lighter until I opened my eyes and he wasn't there at all. Well why-fucking-not? Eren ups and disappears. I gasped, looking around like an idiot, trying to find where his dead body may have wandered off to. But...he was gone. It was quite clear that he wasn't coming back. 

And so, in the middle of the street...

I started to cry.


End file.
